I Am You

Chapter Ten

'A breakfast burrito for me, please. Rice, beans and cheese.' I said.

'Coming right up!' said the waiter and walked away.

'A breakfast burrito, really? It's six in the evening.' Nat said, looking at me.
I chuckled.

'I know. It's just about my general love for breakfast burritos, can't help it.' I shrugged.

Nat and I had decided to grab a bite after a long, long study-session. College had been killing us for the past few days. Dylan wasn't going to be at home today, he was staying at a friend's place to study for a big test he had coming up. All the more explanation why I wasn't going to have dinner at home. God knows I wasn't going to cook for myself. Even if I tried, I'm pretty confident the scene would end with me burning the whole apartment down. No, thank you.

'Hey, by the way, we have another test coming up in a couple of days. Do you want to study for it together? I promise I'll keep all my attention on the books. Or at least, I'll try.' Nat said with a grin.

'Yeah, sure. Actually, you know what? Let's start studying for it today.'

'Today? But we've got a lot of time! Not today, please?' she whined.

You could never get this woman to study more than what was required for a test. She just won't do it. And she would do everything in her power to keep you from doing the same.

'We can get a head-start.' I said as the food was served.

'I don't want it.' she pouted.

'Okay, I'll tell you what. I'll go home today and study for the test and then I'll revise it again when we're studying together tomorrow.' I said, taking a bite from my burrito. Ah, the taste of heaven.

'I know you like to be well prepared for your tests, but don't you think this is a little too much? You need to chill. Have you ever tried watching a movie at night, sitting on the couch with a bucket of popcorn in front of you, knowing very well that you have to get up early for college the next day? Try it.'

'It's not just that. It's about that guy, Ethan.' I sighed.

I could see Nat's eyes light up as I said his name. She was somehow convinced that he was into me. I didn't think so. But then again, I knew nothing about guys. This was the one subject that Nat was better at than I. And honestly, I didn't care much.

'What about him?' she asked, almost jumping with excitement.

'He was so cocky about scoring better at the last test than I did. I'm going to crush him this time. That was the first and the last time I let him win.' I said as if I had an evil plan devised in my head to bring his fall.

'It's not a competition.' she groaned.

'Oh, it so is.' I grinned.

Trust me, I'm not a sixth grader trapped inside a 20-year old's body who dreams to be the best at everything. But this, this is something I'm not going to let Ethan be the best at. There's just something about him, the way he talks and looks at me. I constantly feel like he's mocking me, that he thinks he's better than I am. I'm going to study my ass off for this test. I really want to see the look on his face when he finally realises that he's not the only smart one around.

After dinner, or whatever that was, Nat and I parted ways. As soon as I reached home, I changed into my sweats and took a short nap. Then I woke up, made myself some coffee and immediately started studying for the test. Staying up late at night wasn't really a problem for me, I had been doing it for months. Every night, I went to bed early and desperately wished that that was finally the night when I could fall asleep without my own thoughts haunting me. But this was different. I was awake, not because I couldn't sleep, but because I didn't want to. I had so much studying to do that my mind was completely occupied with it. I didn't have the time to think about anything else. I guess now I understood why people usually throw themselves into their work when they're trying to distract themselves from something. After that, sleeping was relatively easy too because my mind was too tired to be awake. I wish sleeping was so easy every time.

The next morning, as I was looking for Natalie in the hallway, I caught a sight of Ethan walking up to me. Oh god, where's Nat? I really didn't want to be talking to this guy.

'Hey, you.' he said, leaning against one of the lockers.

'No.' I said blankly.

'What? You can't start a conversation with "No".' he said in his usual, happy tone.

'That's probably because I don't want to start one.'

'Oh? Okay, just tell me this. Why don't you like me?' he asked, amused.

'What's there to like? Anyway, I don't have the time for this. If you have something important to say, say it. You have five seconds. After that, I'm walking away.'

'You know there's another test coming up, right?'

'Okay, now you have sixty seconds.' I said. Suddenly, I became interested in what he was talking about. The word "test" had caught my attention.

'So, I was wondering if I could take you out sometime.' he said with a smile.

I raised my eyebrows. What the fuck was happening?