Finding Amity

Chapter 9

In the lecture, I met two girls named Hadiya and Birdie (her given name was Sarah, but she preferred Birdie). Both were also from outer-state, Hadiya from New York, Birdie from Utah, and both knew absolutely no one but each other (they were roommates).

Towards the end of the lecture, Professor Langford announced that this semester we would be working in a group for a majority of our assignments, and we all agreed to be in the same group.

As we were leaving for our next class, which we happened to all be in, Dustin sent me a friendly smile and a quick nod. An action that did not go unnoticed by Hadiya and Birdie. The second we stepped foot outside they started the interrogation.

"Did our TA just smile at you?" Birdie gasped.

"Are you already dating a TA?"

"I once wrote a fan fiction like this starring Harry Styles." Birdie told me earlier that she writes fan fiction on Tumblr. Apparently they're pretty popular.

"Gosh, no!" I hushed. "I just met him before class. Also, he's a junior TA. Like still in university."

"Well, that's no fun." Birdie grumbled. "Wheres the drama in that?"

I laughed at her. Birdie was very animated. She spoke with her hands waving around and had the funniest facial expressions. I don't think she even notices. Hadiya, on the other hand, was seemingly relieved. She was a little more conservative than Birdie.

My next two classed went by quickly and I found myself dawdling back to my dorm. Hadiya and Birdie still had one more class, and I had no idea how they could do it. I was exhausted.

I walked in the room, kicked off my shoes, and flopped face first onto the bed.

"College life a little too much for you?" A monotone voice asked from the other side of the room.

I jumped up shrieking, my fear rapidly bubbling into anger as my eyes laid on Isaac sitting on Pippa's bed. I had been so tired I hadn't even noticed him.

"What the f- Why are you here?!" I stammered. Isaac looked me up and down, suddenly making me self-conscious of my outfit. I wrapped my over shirt closer to my body as his eyes turned back to something in his hand. A book with a baby blue cover and clouds over it. It took me a second, but when I realised what it was my body filled with rage. "WHY DO YOU HAVE MY DIARY?!"

"Calm down, sweetheart." He patronised. "I was just looking for some light reading."

I stormed over to him and grabbed the book from his hands. I looked over the page that was open, finding nothing but a tiny doodle of a little man with a moon for a head. Isaac threw a pencil onto Pippa's desk.

"Why the fuck are you in my room?" I deadpanned. "And why do you think it's okay to touch my diary."

I had deep things in there. I document my entire life in it. It had everything: that night with Cooper, my first birthday without my parents, the party... Oh my god. I wrote about how I felt there was more to Isaac than that stupid facade he put on. I think I may have called him cute. I would keel over and die if he knew that.

"I didn't know it was a diary." He admitted. "I'm sorry." His words seemed sincere but his lips formed a light smirk. "I promise I didn't read any of it."

This was a new side of Isaac. Maybe he was grateful for me promising to keep his secret this morning. Maybe we were getting somewhere.

"Why are you here?" I distracted myself from my own thoughts. "Pippa left early this morning and she has classes until 6 in the afternoon."

"I didn't come for Pippa." He explained.

My heart raced for a split second at the idea he was here for me, that is, until I realised what he meant.

"You wanna make sure I'm going to keep your secret." I noted. He confirmed I was right with a nod. "Look, honestly, I don't give a shit about you having a job, so I'm not going to mention it."

"Cheers" He said as he walked to the door.

"But you don't have to keep it a secret." I continued. "I applied for a job the other day and Pippa didn't "bully" me for it. I don't think your friends care."

"First of all, they're not my friends." He hissed. "Second of all, you and I are different people."

He tried to leave but I interrupted again.

"I don't think we are so different." I suggested. Isaac raised an eyebrow.

"Look at you, Amity. You are an innocent little nerd. Pathetic enough to make out with someone you just met because what? Because a couple idiots at a party peer-pressured you. I am nothing like you."

"You're mean to keep people away!" I shot back.

He turned back around with a stormy look in his eyes.

"You make people hate you so that it's easier for you to hate them back."

I could feel his fury radiating off of him in waves, but I refused to step down.

"You think the second you let someone in that they are going to leave you, probably because once someone did and you never recovered."

In two quick strides he was standing right in front of me. I could feel the heat from his chest. I kept a straight face, ignoring the fact that being this close to him gave me butterflies in my stomach.

"You don't know shit." He glared down at me.

"Neither do you." I spat back. "I'm not pathetic. I just kissed a cute boy at a party during a game of truth or dare! It was innocent fun!"

I'm young, its normal to kiss random guys.

"So you enjoyed it?" He dared.

I swallowed my breath. No, I didn't enjoy it. I felt uncomfortable every second of the kiss. I took a step back and averted my eyes, trying to look anywhere but at Isaac. He really could see right through me.

"Thought so..." He hummed. He opened the door and left, but not before turning back and adding, "You're wrong by the way. I'm not misunderstood, I'm just an asshole."

He spoke these words with sadness. Like he didn't want to be an asshole. Like he couldn't change who he was.

My mouth dropped at the realisation that he did, in fact, read my diary.

"But I have to agree, I am pretty cute."