Finding Amity

Chapter 48

Isaac and Pippa left early in the morning, Isaac all too eager to put a state border between himself and Cooper.

I walked back into the house after saying goodbye, nervous for the conversation I needed to have. Cooper was at class and wouldn't be back until 5:30, but it really wasn't enough time to work out how to say that I've changed my mind.

Cooper, as if he sensed it was coming, stepped into the dining room and sat across from me at the table, his eyes glaring into me.

"Carrie!" I called out through the house. My godmother popped out from her bedroom and joined Cooper at the table. "I need to talk to you guys about something."

Carrie looked interested, but I could see the fury behind Cooper's eyes meant he already knew.

"You're not moving, are you?" He snarled.

I gulped. He wasn't going to change my mind, but he was going to reprimand me for doing something he thinks is stupid.

My nervous silence answered the question for him.

"Dammit, Amity!" He yelled. "You can't just follow a guy around, throwing away any chance you have at a decent life!"

"Cooper!" Carrie hissed. "Amity, can you just explain why you've changed your mind?"

"Its him. It's that piece of shit, white trash, little shit she's obsessed with."

"Don't talk about Isaac like that!" I defended. "And it's not just him. I have friends in Eugene, a life I can't just leave behind."

"Oh, really? Because you were more than happy to leave that life behind when you were mad at Isaac, then he shows up and gives some lame excuse and now you've changed your mind."

"I was... emotional and not thinking things through. I was told a complete lie about Isaac and now that I know the truth, I can see clearly. I need to be in Oregon."

"You are fucking pathetic!" He screeched, Carrie whacking him across the arm for cursing. He didn't seem to notice. "You could be studying at Stanford, but you'd rather follow a guy around who, let's face it, is only going to break your heart."

"He won't break my heart!" I growled. "And I'm not throwing my life away. I can do what I want to do no matter which school I pick."

"Not if you keep running away every time that asshole upsets you, which he will!"

"You don't know Isaac!"

Cooper stood up from his seat, turning to me. "Do whatever you want, Amity. Just don't come crying to me when your life crumbles before you because you picked a guy over your future." His voice was calm, and he turned to walk to his bedroom.

"Amity?" Carrie hummed, a soft sympathetic smile on her face.

"Isaac is a good person." I whimpered, wiping away the tears on my cheeks. "He's not going to hurt me."

"I trust you." She sighed, placing her hand over mine. "I think Cooper... he has a hard time letting go, and I think this just reminds him of me."

"Of you?"

"I never explained this to you, I don't like to remember it, but when I was 20, I dropped out of university to be with Cooper's father." She sighed, her eyebrows furrowed as she relived her past. "When I got pregnant, he left me. I was young and poor and expecting. I had to build my life from nothing and he doesn't... Cooper doesn't want you to go through that."

I looked down at my hands, feeling guilty. I had no idea.

"He will get past this." She promised. "He cares about you, he just has a stupid way of showing it."

I smiled, hoping she was right. I didn't want to lose Cooper.

But if that's what it takes to be with Isaac... It's what I'll do.

Being with Isaac, whether we were fighting or kissing or hating each other, I was me. Before I met Isaac, I was naive and shy and let the world push me around. He helped me find myself. With Isaac, I felt like I deserved to have a voice. He forced me to be myself and apologise to no one, and I was never going back.