Love Is Black And White

22. Coffee Stain

I sat in the same chair as I did the other time I was there. Only this time, I was much more confident. It was happening. My dream was coming true, and my imagination was becoming reality.

Willing, I got up from the chair when the secretary called me.

In her office, Mrs. Stein was just like the first time I saw her. Concentrated, she was reading some papers on the desk, her glasses sliding down her nose.

"You are not anxious this time, I can see." She said as I sat down.

I smiled, "I already know it's good news this time."

"It certainly is." She smiled and pushed the glasses up with her finger, "I'm very excited about this book, it's an interesting story, even though it's unfinished." She looked at me. "Tell me, what happens in the end?"

I straightened up, excited to talk. "Well, I'm still working on it, but I think Onyx will become the king and Ruby will..."

"Oh, I'm sorry..." She interrupted me. "Perhaps I wasn't clear enough." She noticed my confused face and explained, "I'm talking about the other book... Love is black and white."

My jaw dropped. "What?"

She tilted her head, as if trying to understand my reaction. "The book you sent me last week. I have to admit, it was a surprise for me... But a good surprise."

"Yeah, it's a surprise for me too." I told her, bluntly, "I didn't send it."

Mrs. Stein raised her eyebrows. "Oh..." She frowned. "But it's your book, isn't it? Your name is on it."

We were silent for a few seconds, just staring at each other, both confused.

"Listen, no matter who sent it, I'm glad it happened." Mrs. Stein spoke again. "Your book is emotional and unique, it's a beautiful story. And I want to publish it."

I put my hands on my head and rested my arms on my knees, completely plagued by the idea of other people reading that story.

How did this happen? Who did this to me? Dave? 

"Leon?" I heard Mrs. Stein's voice calling me. "Why are you so nervous?"

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself, and then I looked at her, "I didn't write this book for other people to read. I just wrote it to clear my mind."

She raised her eyebrows. "Like the main character in your book did?" Mrs. Stein looked focused, as if she was putting the pieces together. "So the character Leon is not just based on you... You wrote your own story."

Head down, I nodded.

"Okay..." She said, calmly, "I understand if you need some time to think. But let me tell you something, this fact only made me feel even more interested in your book."

Still puzzled, I remained silent. All the excitement about having my work published was gone. All I could think about was the consequences it would bring. For me, and especially for those I loved.

"Are you okay?" Mrs. Stein called me again.

I shook my head, crestfallen. "No, I'm not... This wasn't supposed to happen. I wrote this book for myself."

She nodded and took off her glasses. "You know what I think?" She asked rhetorically and I looked at her again, "I think the best kind of art is made for the artist himself, not for other people. Not for money, not for fame, but for survival. Because an artist is nothing without his art, you know that." There was a friendly tone in her voice. "Now, it's up to you, you need to decide if you want to share this art with the rest of the world. But I have to say, the world would be glad if you did."