Love Is Black And White

20. Old Childhood

A familiar door in front of me. I've been there before, but everything was so different. It was the same door. But my heart felt heavy, anguished, and everything seemed darker than usual.

I opened the door slowly, and saw the night sky. With small steps, I approached a figure in a red dress on top of the parapet, with open arms, her black hair was flying in the cold wind. I smiled when I heard the sound of her laughter.

I got closer. She didn't seem to feel my presence. Suddenly, an agonizing silence. She stopped laughing and looked down, her eyes empty. I froze.

"Jade!" I shouted.

She dropped her arms and turned to face me. For a moment, she just looked at me, then closed her eyes, and opened her arms again.

"No!" I shouted when she started to lean her body back. "Don't do it!" But she continued to lean slowly until she fell completely.

"No!"

I woke up hyperventilating.

It was a Sunday, days before Thanksgiving. I sat on the bed and rested my head on my hands. Eyes closed, I relived the scene. It was the kind of nightmare that would haunt me for the rest of the day. But it was also the kind that seemed to send me a message. And I understood it.

"Hello, Leon." With a calm face, Mrs. Alba smiled at me when she opened the door.

I smiled too. "Hello, Mrs. Alba... Is Jade here?"

She nodded, "Jade! There's someone here who wants to see you!" She shouted over her shoulder.

I looked down when I felt her eyes watching me. "May I come in?" I asked.

"It's not like you need my permission." She teased.

I smiled, embarrassed, "Right... I'm sorry about that."

"You don't need to apologize..." She gestured with her hand for me to enter the apartment, "You saved my..."

"Leon?" Jade's voice interrupted her mother, "What are you doing here?"

I couldn't help but smile when I saw her. She was wearing a huge hoodie, her hair was shiny as before and her lips were between pink and red. She was beautiful. She was back.

"I tell you what I'm doing here," I started talking like I was giving a presentation, "I'm here to watch all Shrek movies with you."

"Okay..." Jade looked at me with confused eyes and a small smile.

"Then we're gonna watch the sunset on the terrace." I continued, "And at night, we're gonna see the moon." I signaled with a look at the black backpack on the floor, with my telescope.

Surprised, Jade just stared at me for a few seconds, then she looked at her mother, who was laughing.

"It's like you're nine again." Mrs. Alba said, with nostalgia in her eyes and a big smile, "Oh, I'll make some cookies for you!" She clapped once, and walked to another room with excitement.

Jade's eyes widened at me and we laughed.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked, getting closer to me.

Because I lost you this morning, and it was terrifying. I shook my head, as if I could get that thought out of my mind.

"Life goes by so fast..." I answered, "And being an adult is so exhausting. I want to be happy with the small things in life, like I used to be in my childhood." In silence, I reflected for a few seconds. "I just want to live an old childhood... Can we do this?"