Illicit Desires ✔

5. Pure jerk.

I had a huge smile on my face as I stared at Ademide, my lovely husband. I stood there watching him as he rocked our crying child to sleep, I must say he looked really cute doing that. He just knew how to make this stubborn girl go to sleep. She was such a daddy's girl.

He looked up at me when he noticed my presence. He dropped our daughter and smiled at me. He walked towards me definitely to kiss me as usual, but he surprised me when he hit me hard on my shoulders, shocking me. "Little witch," he said as he hit me.

I jerked hard with anger, and it was that time my eyes opened to behold my brother's annoying ones. How I ended up here, I knew not. I sat up with anger on my bed and scowled at him.

"What do you want?" I yelled.

"Mummy said I should wake you up," he said grumpily and walked out of my room. I stared daggers into his retreating back. He had no single respect for privacy again. How could he have entered my room without permission?

I thought back to the beautiful dream I was having, I could remember Ademide's smile so well, our daughter. Damn, it felt so real until that idiot woke me up. I quickly cuddled back into my blanket, trying to see if the dream would continue. Why? Because reality was just too cruel.

I closed my eyes, imagined Ademide's smile and lips, but nothing happened, I just couldn't get back to dream land. I ended up sitting up on my bed with frustration it was then my room door opened, introducing my mum who had a cup in hand. Seeing the cup in her hand, I had no need to ask what she wanted, I could see the steam on the cup, so the substance was still hot.

I quickly tried to get up from my bed, but my mum's voice stopped me, "better stay where you are."

"Mummy, why now? Why? Every mother wakes their child up with kisses, but you, it is always agbo (herbal medicine). Why?" I ranted tears streaming out of my eyes. It was really getting hard. There was no single day. My mum didn't punish me with taking agbo. She believed it was the reason I didn't get sick, when it is actually because I'm AA, I'm sure if I take this stuff one more time, I will die.

"Wo, mi o ni time fun ejo, gba ko mu. (See, I don't have time for talks, have it and drink.)" She said, staring deep into my soul, daring me to disobey her.

I took the agbo with shaky hands and downed the whole content in one gulp, I found out that was the best way. Get rid of it at once. If not, the taste would have you stopping at a sip. I handed her cup back to her, and my mouth was in a very bad shape as I found ways to reduce the bitter taste in my mouth.

She took the cup and stared at my room with disgust. There was no need to ask. I knew what was coming next, I just wished I had my earpiece in place to block out her sermon.

"Most times, I wonder if you are a girl at all, look at the room of a full-blown woman." She pointed at the clothes spilling out of my wardrobes, the ones pilling out of my two laundry baskets, and the books that were scattered around my room like I was lacking a books "Future mother, and one day you too you will give birth. I wonder how your home will be, anu oko e nse mi (I feel bad for your future husband.)"

I sat where I was, taking in all of this without muttering a single word. This was actually just the beginning. After this she will venture into every single thing I've been doing wrong since the day she gave birth to me, after that she will end her speech with 'won kuku ni so pe mio ko e, iwo ni o gba eko, (they won't say I didn't train you, you are the one who didn't listen.)' Just you wait and see.

"Ounje, o le se. (Food, you cannot cook.) House, you cannot clean. If I tell you to go to the shop you will be yelling at my customers, customer service, you don't have." Actually, that wasn't true, I used to yell at customers before, but now I'm changed. Her customers even said they now preferred me to her. This woman and exaggeration ehen, "all you know how to do is to press phone, phone and phone. You think it is the only book that makes a woman. Just because you are brilliant doesn't guarantee that you will keep your home. Wo, mo ti so te mi, won kuku ni sope mi o ko e, iwo ni o gba eko. (See, I have said my own. They won't say I didn't train you. You are the one who didn't listen.)"

She hissed and walked out of my room after this. That was another retelling of the epic performance I get to enjoy once in a while, and I hope you all enjoyed it also. I quickly got up from my bed and ran to my bathroom to brush my teeth, trying to get rid of that bitter taste, but that was a mistake since the taste only got more bitter. I soon gave up and went back to my bed to continue my sleep and dream, and this time around, I succeeded in continuing with the beautiful dream.

*****

By the time I finally woke up again it was already past noon, and this was actually my normal time for waking up ever since this whole pandemic started, that is if I'm not going to shop. I had my bath and put on a free blue gown. It was super comfy. I took off my black net and packed my black braids in a bun. I decided I would go get food to eat now, I wondered what my mum cooked.

As I stepped out of my room I remembered Ademide and what transpired between us last night, although my night was filled with him, but never for once did my mind actually come back to the reality of what we did. I stood still where I was with embarrassment, I was scared of facing him again, I didn't know how I would behave. Gosh, I had behaved like a wanton. I just prayed he wasn't around. Clearly, if he had a contract work like my mum said, then he should be gone to work by now.

I heard voices coming from the sitting room. That would mean he was there, I just wished I was invincible. If I could just grow a superpower right now, I would forever be grateful to God, but nothing happened. And I was beginning to get hungry.

After several minutes of silent brooding and scratching my pretty fingers on the wall, I finally decided I would just go in. It's not like there was anything new under the sun. I walked into the sitting room feeling a little rejuvenated, but what I saw made every single spirit in me die down.

I stood glued to the spot with mouth agape as I stared at the sight before me, Ademide was sat on a couch, and a lady that I have never seen before was sitting on his lap, and they were both laughing and discussing. I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces as I saw this. Hot tears stung my eyes as I realized how foolish I had been.

I felt broken and trampled upon. I ignored them both and made my way to the kitchen, and none of them noticed my presence, nor absence. I was glad on getting to the kitchen to find that my mum had cooked rice, this kind of made me a little happy, because if she hadn't cooked anything it will only fuel the hurt in my heart.

I dished out some portion for myself and left the kitchen to see that Samuel was now out and happily talking to the girl on Ademide's lap, I actually wanted to ignore them but Ademide's voice stopped me.

"Isn't that my short screamer," he said in a very cheery voice. He sounded quite happy, but I didn't share the same happiness.

I turned to face him with a scowl and said, "I agree I'm short, but I'm not a screamer, and definitely not yours!" Saying that while screaming actually countered what I just said, but I didn't care. The look of shock on Ademide's face kinda made me a little happy. He clearly wasn't expecting that.

I turned on my heels and went into my room, shutting the door with a bang. I dropped the food on my side stool and sat on my bed gloomily. Tears streamed out of my eyes as I remembered how he had looked with that lady. He looked extremely happy. I had no idea why I was crying, but I was so hurt, I couldn't believe I had actually started dreaming of him.

The thought of what happened between us last night only fueled the bitterness in my heart. How come I never thought of the fact that he could have a girlfriend? But he shouldn't have done that if he had a girlfriend, that would only mean he had wanted to play me. The thought of that alone had me crying more.

He was nothing but a pure jerk, and it was confirmed.

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© Mary Aden