Illicit Desires ✔

15. Yes! I regret it.

I grunted as I washed the last of the plates in the zinc, it was actually a miracle I completed washing this damn plates without barging into Samuel's room and breaking every single bone in his body to use for crunchy snacks, for real this whole place was a disaster. I just don't know if it will kill him to do the dishes, or maybe actually not leave particles of food on his plate. Every damn thing just sticks to the plate. And then I have to soak it first before washing, or risk breaking a fingernail, and I love, I mean, cherish my nails. Like, can't he just be like Ademide? For real, the dude was a neat freak, cleans the kitchen every damn time he enters it.

Well, speaking of Ademide, I've been doing quite a good job of avoiding him ever since I chased him out of my room, and that was two days ago. Haven't really seen him since then, and I know he must presently be at work now. Yes, he definitely was. I really don't know how long I plan to keep this up, but I just wish I could just not see him forever. The thought of him leaves me sad every single time, and each and every day, I try to come up with what ifs to make myself happy. Like what if the girl he was talking to wasn't really his girlfriend, what if he wasn't playing, and actually liked me, his words and action look like it, what if he was actually been sincere and doesn't really know what he did, or I think he did. And every single time I always remind myself to snap out of it because I know what I heard, and saw, and no guy who was sensitive enough would hurt a girl he like the way he hurt me, that only proves the fact that I'm just a game to him, and I was a fool to fall. A stupid fool.

I snapped out of my stupid state of remorse, washed my hands, and cleaned my hand with a kitchen napkin before exiting the kitchen. Immediately I got out of the kitchen, I saw Ademide coming out of his room, dressed in black grey pants, blue shirt, and a grey waistcoat, with his briefcase, looking handsome as usual. I felt my heart jump a bit at the sight of him, I quickly retraced my steps and headed right back for the kitchen, chanting to avoid him! Avoid him! Like a mantra in my head.

"Mary." I heard him call my name, but I ignored it. "Mary!" He called again, this time sounding more stern. I quickened my steps, walking into the kitchen. It wasn't until I was there that I started wondering what I could possibly do there, gosh, stupid me again.

"Mary!" I felt a grip on my arm, and soon I was pulled back. I turned to face him, anger radiating in my eyes, wanting to know what he wanted. "What exactly is wrong?"

"You gripping my arm is," I stated.

His face hardened, letting go of my arm. He dropped his briefcase and rubbed his hand on his face, looking at my face intently. "I need you to talk."

"Say, what exactly?" I asked.

"Are we going over this again?" He asked, sounding quite frustrated. "Mary, I know there has to be a reason. You can't just go from wanting me to avoiding me like a plague. There has to be something I did. Just let me know what it is, and I will adjust."

He had me very confused here, I didn't know what to make of it. The look on his face was curious, confused, conflicted, and hurt. Why? And his voice sounded hoarse like he was trying to bottle up some emotions. Now, what the hell was this guy playing at?

"What if I don't have a reason," I deadpanned. I know I could actually bring up the topic of him picking up his girlfriend call, and then neglecting me like a common whore which I'm definitely no. But that would only make him feel like he has an edge over me. He's gonna know that I like him, and was heartbroken because of him. And I can't afford to look so weak to him, he's only going to mock me at the end anyway. Trust me I know what I'm saying, I've heard stories, seen guys do awful things to girls, making a fool out of them, and I will be damned to be one of those girls. Already fell once, I won't go deeper into the dirt by letting him know he has a leverage over me.