Illicit Desires ✔

13. Don't touch me!

"Have I ever told you how great your timing is?"

The look on his face as he said this was playful, and full of relaxation, it showed that whoever he was talking to brought out the best feeling in him, a feeling I will never be able to bring. He sat up on the bed and began talking into the phone, I watched his face closely to see him make light conversations with her, totally forgetting that I was right beside him. Most times, he was smiling and making jokes, I couldn't even pick whatever he was saying because my mind was filled up with the spearing pain of hurt that I felt.

I pulled my bedspread over me, turning on my side to face the wall, I felt his hand go over me then. He must have realized how neglected I felt. But right now, I didn't care. All that went through my mind was the fact that I had just been used. How stupid could I have been to let him do this to me? And I was indeed very stupid if I'm blaming him now because I remember well that I wanted this as much as he did, maybe even more. And I knew he had a girlfriend. How the hell did I forget that?

"Just, it makes me feel like I'm actually complete."

I could remember him saying this. It was still so fresh in my memory. It was an obvious lie, just to get in my pants, and I fell for it. What a good player he was, had a girl he loved on the side, and another foolish girl who's pant he was able to get into like many other ones who had been foolish enough like me.

"Love you too, bye." I don't know why I was able to hear this. Out of everything, he said this was the only thing I heard after the first sentence he made. My heart shattered into a million pieces at this, the tears that were stinging my eyes beforehand fell freely, it really hurt.

I heard him drop his phone, and then the shuffling of clothes, then I felt his hand on my shoulders trying to pull me closer to him. I laid where I was unmoving, ignoring that foolish side of me that just wanted to go into his arms.

"Mary, are you okay?" He asked in a very concerned voice, I wasn't moved by it. at least now I know everything about him was a lie.

"Leave my room," I said in a cold voice.

"What! Why?" He sounded bewildered and hurt, but I knew there was nothing he couldn't fake.

"Just go away, please." I pleaded, trying to stop the sob that escaped my lips.

"Hey." I felt his hot breath on my cheek as he cupped my face with his hand, turning my face toward him. I let him turn it, and heard him give a gasp as he saw my crying face. I looked at his face that was full of questions, questions that he clearly had answers to. "Did...did I hurt you?"

I wanted to scoff at his face. He was really playing the innocent card well, but I didn't. Instead, I took his hands off my face and said, "Just go away."

"Mary, I need to know why you're crying. Did I do something to hurt you?"

"Obviously, dickard!" I wanted to yell, but didn't. I'm sure he knew well what he was doing. He knew well enough how hurt I was. I chose to ignore him instead and tried to turn away, but he placed his hands on me, putting me in place.

"Hey Mary, talk to me."

"Don't touch me!" I yelled. He flinched back, taking his hands off me. He had a look of hurt on his face, a genuine look of hurt, which was confusing. "Just go."

I turned on my side facing the wall as more tears poured out of my eyes, for a long while I did nothing but cry my eyes out, I didn't even know if he was still in my room or not, I just laid there crying. Crying for my stupidity, my foolishness, and for my breaking heart. I just don't understand why I let him get to me this way, and more so I can't believe he treated me this way, like a common whore, neglecting and ignoring my presence once he saw his girlfriend's call, even though I did behave like a whore.