A killer's tale ~ Hunter x Hunter ~ Kurapika X OC {finished}

Chapter 23

Illura's P.O.V.

I watch as we enter the room where our final exam will take place. There is a board, showing a set-up of probably fights. I don't really bother to listen as the rules are explained, after all, all I have to do is win.

Gon is up first, against Hanzo, a skilled ninja. I glance at the fight now and then, though I'm mostly focussing on the male next to me, Hisoka Morrow. After Killua and Kurapika found out that I wasn't who I said I were, I decided that the only course of action that would get me praise was to accept Hisoka's offer. Even though I've never felt so humiliated in my life, having to let that perverted clown use me.

"Are you scared? Perhaps uncomfortable?" I immediately look up at him. Maybe, if he wouldn't have had the malicious aura hanging around him, he would have looked a little attractive.

"I'm fine," I try saving face, my attention being drawn in by a crack of Gon's breaking arm.

"They're totally ruining my prey... How could they?" I don't get what his problem is. If he is after Gon, to kill him, shouldn't he be happy when someone gives him a helping hand. This trait makes this man all the more fearful and dangerous.

"I'm going to get some air. My fight is only at the end, so I'll be sure not to miss it," I say, wanting a way out of the situation.

"How about I come with you?" Hisoka asks, a playful smirk on his face. I want a break from him, that's why I'm going outside. Either he is fully oblivious, or he is playing mind-games with me, and I'm afraid it's most likely the second.

"I will be fine. I solely want to inspect what the rest of this building looks like," I quickly answer before walking to the closest hallway. The big doors of the room we're in are closed, probably to prevent us from going outside, though I'm curious if there isn't any other way out. I wonder if I'll get disqualified if I leave this building. Would it be worth it to get away from Hisoka? Though my parents would probably get disappointed, and there is a big chance he will find me again. I don't even want to start imagining what he'll do when he finds me again.

When I get close to the huge room where I'm running away from now, I can sometimes hear the big chaos of the fights. That again, is always my cue to turn around and try a different corridor. I pace around for minutes and minutes, wondering how many fights have already passed. I wonder if it's already time for my fight. Would Illumi or Hisoka do the effort of getting me when that's the case? If I hadn't blown my cover I'm sure Gon, Killua, Leorio or Kurapika would have informed me. They seemed to genuinely care about me. Is that how friendship works? I kind of liked it.

A sudden rush of regret falls over me, as tears well up in my eyes. Why now? I'm not in pain, I'm not supposed to make friends, then why does this upset me so much? I shouldn't be affected by it. If Illumi or Hisoka sees me like this...

"Illura!" A flood of relief falls over me as I realise it isn't Illumi's, neither Hisoka's voice. Though that relief is quick to fade seeing a furious Kurapika. "Did you know what that black-haired boy was planning? I believe he's Killua's brother, which would also make him yours. Killua has been disqualified because of it."

His voice is pure anger. Why does that sting? It's not like I send Killua home, Illumi finished the task. "Illumi and me were ordered to bring Killua home," I answer honestly. "That's all."

"Don't you care for your friends or family at all," I feel how something hits my cheek, and I lose my balance. I look up, bringing my hand to my hurting cheek, as I notice how Kurapika has his fist risen in front of him. He hit me, though my mind must have been too much of a mess for me to immediately process that.

I get back up, fighting back the stinging feeling in my eye, my vision glued to the floor. "An assassin doesn't have friends. I'm doing this because family means everything to me. My father asked this from me and my twin brother, I can't disappoint either of them. My brother has to be brought back home so he can finish becoming an assassin, and probably take over as head of the family some day. I will introduce Hisoka to my family..."

"What do you want?" I look up at Kurapika with a dazzled mind. What do I want? Well, I don't quite know. I guess I want to follow my parents' orders, make them proud. It's all I've ever done.

"I want to make my parents proud, that's all I need to do after all. If I make them proud, I'm sure to live a-"

"I'm not talking about practical things, what do you want to do?" I look at his face, which now doesn't only display anger, but also some kind of pity.

Memories suddenly rush by. Memories I made during this exam, when pretending to have had friends. That play pretend felt so nice and warm, as if I was finally being accepted by some people. Slowly the tears start running down my face, unable to stop them. They're stronger than me. No, they're forcing me to become weaker. They take my strength, and use it as their own.

"What I want... I... I guess I would want to be friends with you... Like Killua wanted." I didn't only rip that possibility away from myself, but also from my little brother. "I guess I ruined everything."