the daughter of severus snape

Chapter 39: the Dark Lord's Wish

I go back up to my room after the speeches. I don't like exposing myself to everyone like that. The message was real even though I'm faking this. I want them to keep that with them. My brain hurts just thinking of betraying these people, these Professors, these students, this castle. I once called this castle my home. And I'm expected to betray it? I've fought so hard to avoid getting to this place but I've failed. I never was much of a fighter, was I? No, I was never a good fighter. If I was, I wouldn't be here right now. I would be standing behind Hogwarts, defending it. But Dray's wrong. We're both protecting our families. Dad made the Unbreakable Vow. He'll go down fighting for Dray; fighting for me. I think he knows already that I love him. Why did I have to fall for my best friend? I start to give up on love. The second I finally have another shot at happiness, I lose it. Immediately. What if I have to spend the rest of my life with Zane? I won't. I'd literally rather die. But what if Voldemort brings me back and hurts someone I care about? Stop, Bella. You can't dwell on the future either. The present is what matters the most right now. I turn aside and try to fall asleep.

----

The next morning, I've made a plan. I'm going to find out what Dray's task is. It's something important. I know he was behind the attack on Katie Bell. But why would he want to hurt her? Did she try to stop him? Because if so, he's in jeopardy. I race down to find him. He's in the Boys' dorm. No one else is here. "Was she onto you?" I demand. He looks back.

"Who?"

"Oh, please. I know you're behind the attack on Katie Bell. Was she onto you? Was that why you attacked her?" He sighs.

"Bells, I told you-"

"This is something you have to do alone, I know. All I need to know is if you jeopardized our cover. Cause if she's onto you, it won't be long until she's onto me."

"Oh. No. I didn't do that because she was onto me."

"Good. Be careful, Dray. Don't mess with things you shouldn't mess with."

"I won't." I leave him. We don't talk about the Zane situation. I'm pretty sure that both of us are on the same page already. It hurts that I can't talk to him like I used to. We're closer than ever but also further too. I go outside to clear my mind. I see Daph. Ugh. She's going to be the hardest person to betray. "Hey, Bells. I have something to tell you." I nod. Is she onto me?

"I don't know how to tell you... but... I know why I've never been in a relationship..."

"Daph, I'm kinda busy right now..."

"It'll only take a second. I'll just spit it right out. You're my best friend and you should know. I'm into girls. Please don't-"

"Daph."

"-hate me, I didn't tell-"

"Daph!"

"-you because I was nervous that you'd-"

"Daph! Listen to me. Stop freaking out." She lets a sigh out, "First of all, I'm so happy that you were able to tell me. Second of all, obviously, I'd accept you. Did you know Cal was bi?" She shakes her head. "Third. I already knew."

"You did? How?"

"You're my best friend, Daph. I saw how you looked at other girls. There was no way you were 100% straight. I love you, and nothing you do will make me stop loving you, okay?" She hugs me.

"Ow, I still need to breath, you know." She laughs.

"Sorry, sorry. I was so nervous, you know?"

"Don't be. I don't care that you're lesbian. I mean, well. What I mean is that that's great for you, but it doesn't change how I look at you. Now, I really need to go. But try asking Sadie out."