the daughter of severus snape

Chapter 33: A New Chapter

It's been 2 days. I haven't slept ever since. I haven't eaten either. I haven't uttered a single word. And I don't plan to. I'm still mad that they wouldn't let me go back to him. Dray stays with me for the entire day. My Dad comes between classes. Daph comes at the end of the day. Percy and Harry come too most days. Even Theo comes. They all come for the same thing; to try to get me to eat and talk. They tell me how their days go, hoping to get a reaction from me. They never get one. Because my mind isn't here. It's elsewhere. It's with Cal. Poor Cal. I wonder how he felt his last minutes. 

"Remember, Bella. This is all your fault. None of this would have happened if you hadn't been brave. Don't forget that, cause you'll pay otherwise"

That sentence keeps running through my brain again and again. This is all your fault. He wasn't lying. It is. It doesn't feel real at all. All of this is fake. Right? It has to be. 

"Bella. You've got to eat. You can't starve yourself to death." That's Dad. Why should I eat when he can't? "Come on, Bella. Please. It kills me to see you like this." I wince. I take one bite, for my Dad. But that's it. He sighs. "This isn't healthy, Bells." 

"Sir, let me talk to her." Dad goes out of the room.

"Bells, it's me. Draco. You don't even need to talk, just listen. That's enough. I need my best friend. More importantly, my best friend needs me. As your best friend, I'm not going to leave your side. I know he's gone and that hurts. But he wouldn't want this. I'm not asking you to forgive yourself. I'm asking you to eat. Please. It hurts that you're in pain and I can't do anything about it. You don't even need to talk to me or anyone ever again. Just, please eat. Eat for Calvin, Bella." I don't do or say anything. He sighs. "At least sleep, then. Please. I am begging you. I will literally do anything for you. Sleep." He stays quiet. I listen to him and sleep. I hate that I'm causing him so much pain. I dream about Cal this night.

"Bella"

"Cal?" I go to hug him. He hugs me back.

"Eat, Bella. You need to."

"No. How can I eat when you can't?"

"Bella. I'm asking you. Eat. That's my final request."

"I miss you, Cal. I'm sorry I failed you." He laughs.

"How did you fail me? Bella, you let me die with no regrets. I don't regret a single thing. I died after I married the girl of my dreams. Isn't that all a guy could ask for?"

"No. You should have grown up. We should have grown old together. We should have had kids."

"You don't want kids."

"I told you. For you, I'd have kids. For you, I'd have done anything."

"Then do this for me. Get over me, Bells. I'm dead, and there's nothing that you can do about that. I was always going to die. It was never meant to be you, Bells. It was always me." I shake my head. "This doesn't end until either I die or I join him."

"Then fight. And don't die. Take your place with Potter."

"I'm scared. I can't do this without you."

"Hey. You aren't doing this without me. I'm still with you, even if it's not physically. Go find your soulmate."

"You're my soulmate."

"No, I'm not. If I was then I'd still be back there, with you. Please Bells. Eat. Sleep. Talk. Live. Laugh. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy."