Trouble, with a capital T. - Nestor Oceteva

25th September 2019

I was sitting on the bathroom floor with my head in my hands. I hadn't realised just how disappointed I would feel looking at the results. I didn't go through this with Libby. There wasn't any planning and testing or waiting, she was just a sudden piece of me. I turned the test on every angle to see if maybe it was just faint. It wasn't, there just wasn't a second line.

Three months of trying for a baby and three negative tests. It hurt more every time. Pulling myself up from the floor I threw the test in the bin and opened the door. He tried to hide it but I could see it in his eyes and the feeling of failure overwhelmed me. I blinked fast, trying to dry the tears that formed. His eyes softened and he walked up to me and pulled me into him. I sobbed into his clean shirt as he rubbed my back. "If it's meant to be it will happen, querida."

Taking a moment to try compose myself, I felt the doubt start again. What if something's wrong with me? I'm only 29, surely I'm not too old. I grabbed my phone and called the OBGYN who had removed my coil and booked an appointment. I need to know everything is working right. I just hope Libby wasn't a fluke.

Wiping my eyes and getting dressed, I headed to the kitchen when Nestor's phone rang. "Ok Mikey, we'll be right over." I grabbed the coffee Nestor had made for me. "Is Miguel alright?" Nestor was putting his holster on and sliding the guns in. "Emily is in labour, grab Libby and head over when you're ready and I'll meet you there." He barely stopped for a kiss as he left our home for Miguel's.

I sat on our porch with my coffee, watching my husbands SUV drive along the long shared driveway to Miguel's home. Taking in the morning air I both missed the bustle of Istanbul and enjoyed the quiet landscape here. I heard Libby's feet hit the deck as she entered the porch space. "The baby's on the way. Grab a bag of toys and snacks to entertain yourself. We can walk over, it's a beautiful morning," She sprinted back up the stairs to her room and was back within minutes. Dragging my hand and pulling me from the seat, she huffed at my slower pace. "Come on ma, hurry up."

I cringed as soon as we entered Miguel's foyer. Screams were echoing through the house and Cristobal looked upset. "Libz, take Cris outside and play with him please." She took the boy's hand and lead him out to the back sliding doors. I sent a guard along with them, I wasn't a fan of them playing by the pool alone. Heading downstairs I found Nestor looking ill outside the door to Emily's room. I tried to hide my laugh with a cough but he saw through it and growled lowly at me.

"You still sure you want a baby Ness? You look like you're gonna hurl any minute." I slipped past him and into the room that had been transformed into a hospital unit. Miguel was sitting in the seat furthest from the bed but out of sight of the southern war zone. "How's it going?" Miguel shrugged and gestured at the doctor who answered for him. "Good, she's progressing well. Already 8 cms." I nodded and left the room to find Nestor crouched against the wall, taking deep breaths.

"You have tortured people, killed people but labour makes you queasy? That's loco baby." He shook his head and his braids swung wildly. "Its fucked up, I know. Was it like that with Libby?" We hadn't really spoken of her birth, just looked at photos of her scans and then when she was born. I slid down the wall, crouching beside him.

"She took 11 hours, start to finish. It hurt like hell but I knew it was going to be rewarding so I could push past it. I loved the gas, the nurses said I was breathing it and quoting darth vadar and shit. The pressure was the worst thing." I snorted a laugh and turned red in the face which made Nestor quirk his eyebrow up in question. "I wasn't sure if I was having a baby or the biggest crap of my life." He laughed at that and pushed me off balance and I landed in my ass. Using my foot I knocked him over too as payback. He dusted himself off and stood up holding a hand out to me and pulling me up.