Thin Air (Complete EDITING)

28 -Cal

28 Cal July 8, 2020

I lived a good life to try to atone for that night, but no matter what I do, that void haunts me.

I will never know what happened during those lost hours, and I think that's the worst part of it all. It is safe to assume, though, that I am the reason Erin never went home.

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I wake to find that the steering when has left a rippled indentation on my forehead. I must have passed out in the parking lot after that last pull from the bottle.

It would probably be safer for everyone if I just walked home from here. Oh God, did I piss my pants? It tastes like someone threw up in my mouth.

When I force my door open, I am surprised to find that the ground is soft beneath my feet, not the asphalt I expected. Now that I think about it, it's much darker than I remember. The only light is a single beam coming from the front of my truck. As I rounded my vehicle, I stumble and fall to the damp ground before I can catch my bearings. The spins overtake me, and I vomit, hot liquid dripping down my chin.

I'm not sure how long I lay there before I was picked up, but I woke clean in my bed late the next morning.

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Jamie doesn't greet me when she enters my room today.

She has me dressed and transferred to the recliner on wheels that I will spend the rest of my day in before she speaks.

"Cal, I cannot come up with a logical reason for you to have Erin's keys. But I've given it a lot of thought over the last two days. I've come to the conclusion that I cannot do anything with this information without destroying our family. It's too late for anything resembling justice to be served now. Your kids and grandkids don't deserve to have their lives flipped upside down. I don't know what you did, and at this point, I will never know." The words pour from her mouth as she paces in the tight space.

Jamie, my sweet girl, I am so sorry that I've put you in this position.

"I just can't figure it out. Nothing I thought up makes sense. Not one of the outcomes I can come up with is acceptable." She grabs a tissue from my table to dry an escaped tear. Her voice is so low I almost don't hear when she continues. "What did you do, Cal?"

Please don't cry. I wish I had an answer to give you but I don't know what I did either.

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By the time I sobered up, the boys had cleaned my drunken mess. My truck was home, headlight replaced, the majority of the dent had been banged out, not that it mattered, the old work truck was beaten to hell from all the years of use.

I didn't think anything of it until Monday when reports of Erin going missing began to spread around town. I noticed a little blood spatter on the metal bumper, so I went back to the scene of my accident with a sick feeling in my stomach. As I poked around, I found drag marks in the dirt and mountain lion prints. I followed them as far as I could but lost them. On my way back, I stumbled across the keys lying in the dirt.

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"God, I wish I had not opened that box! Why did you even keep those keys?"

I had to. I needed to be reminded.

Jamie angrily balls the soiled tissue and throws it into the can beside my door. "I'm sorry, Cal. I'm going to have Bianca finish up in here today. I can't."

It's okay, I understand. I don't want to be around me either.

A/N

Double update because why not?

Poor Cal, must be terrible to not know what you've done.