Thin Air (Complete EDITING)

36- Shannon

Shannon August 18, 2020

The pain in this car is damn near unbearable. We have lost so much in the last several hours. My father and Erin are gone. But worst of all, we've lost hope.

Hope that my father would recover. Hope that Erin was somewhere out there. Hope that life could be fair and right.

We have just hit the dirt driveway when I remember Erin's parents. We already called Sydney's roommates and asked them to keep her from the television until we can get there tonight, but I had forgotten about David and Eliza. Their hope died today too, and they don't even know it yet.

Seth takes my hand in his forcing me to look at him. "We will get through this. Your brothers will be okay."

"I don't know. Dad is all they had left."

"That's not true. They have you."

Tears spill faster now, "What if I'm not enough? What if I'm not enough for any of you?"

"Oh, Sunny, you are more than enough. I didn't lose Erin today. She has been gone for a long time, I mourned her years ago. Today I found peace. I don't have to wonder anymore."

"I can see how sad you are, Seth."

"That's not for her, that's for me, for us. Cal changed my life. Your dad was my best friend. He was so proud of you. He talked you up every chance he had. Hell, he's half the reason I fell in love with you." He jokes. I am letting his words soak in and have caught my breath by the time he tells me that it's time to go in.

I take in my brothers sitting together, looking like kids on Brandon's oversized couch. From Brandon's shaking shoulders, it looks like Andrew has said something funny. I don't want to tell them. I know that they are grown men, but I want to shelter them from this.

I stand quietly watching their exchange, letting them have this last moment of happiness before I realize Brandon isn't laughing, he's crying, and Drew is comforting him. I'm confused. How have they heard about dad already?

They turn to us in unison when Gus trots over, looking to be pet. I make eye contact with my littlest brother, who immediately moves to look at my husband. Taking in our haggard appearance, I know he can tell something terrible has happened. He breathes deep and opens his mouth to speak; at the same time, Brandon says, "I'm sorry, Seth."

They don't know about dad. They were talking about Erin when we walked in. I'm still going to need to tell them. I had selfishly been relieved that they had heard elsewhere. Now I am going to have to add another level to their pain.

Seth nods in acknowledgment. "Thank you." Then he presses me forward with a hand on my lower back.

"Dad had a heart attack this afternoon. He didn't survive." I tried to think of a way to soften it, but I know my brothers don't need pretty words.

An hour and many tears later, Seth and I excuse ourselves with the excuse of needing to tell David and Eliza about Erin.

_____________________________

Like the saints they are, Erin's parents were more concerned with my well being. Their reasoning was the same as Seth's. They lost Erin a long time ago, and while the scar was there, the wound wasn't fresh. They are confident that the discovery of her body will lead the police to who put her there.

Sydney handled all of the news stoically but quickly caved when we insisted that she come home with us. She was so young when Erin went missing that even with all of us making sure she knew her mother, she was more of a story than a reality.

There is no more that can be done tonight. Tomorrow my brothers and I will begin the process of laying our father to rest.

In regards to Erin, it's out of our hands. We can only wait and hope that the authorities get the answers we all want.

A/N
Is it possible to break your own heart with characters you wrote?
Asking for a friend.