Saviour (Jayy Von Monroe)

nine - we'll make it to the aftermath

Jayy backed away from me in anger, "Your PREGNANT?! BUT WE NEVER DID ANYTHING!" Jayy cried

"Jayy listen to me--," I begged

"YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON ME! HOW CAN I LISTEN TO YOU?!" Jayy screamed angrily, his face turning red and his eyes flaming

"Jayy, I was raped!" I screamed, sobbing

Jayy halted, staring blankly at me. He started to shake his head, "No, you couldn't be raped. You're always with me,"

"It happened the days you were sick and your mom wouldn't let me see you because you were contagious. I went out without my mom like the dumbass I am, and my ex found me. Jayy, he took the one thing I felt pure about. He ruined my plans to hold it for the person I loved," I looked into his eyes, seeing them turn glassy, "Jayy, this baby inside of me was caused by hate. Resentment. Anger. This baby wasn't created in love,"

Jayy stared at me, "Oh god..."

"Jayy, I'm so sorry," I apologized

"No, I'm sorry. I should have listened to you...oh my god..." Jayy said

He held his arms out for, and I ran into them. He held me protectively, my arms hooking around his back. I sobbed into his shirt, feeling him shake himself. I couldn't stop my crying. I could feel the vomit rise in my throat. I felt sick to my stomach, and pushed Jayy away. I ran to the bathroom, getting on my knees in front of the toilet.

I threw everything up, Jayy's hands holding the excess hair back. I coughed, before flushing the toilet and collapsing beside it.

"Come on, take a shower and calm down. I'll be right outside," Jayy said

I nodded, and he kissed my head softly, "Everything will be okay. I love you no matter what, remember that. Okay? We will make it through this,"

I nodded, "I love you too."

Jayy left the bathroom, laying me some clothes on the counter.

I returned to a dark room, besides the light from the TV illuminating Jayy's flawless face. I quietly climbed beside him, and he smiled at me. He threw his arms around me, and pulled me close. I sighed, resting my head on his chest. But instead, he moved me onto my back, pulling the blankets to my waist.

"What are you doing mister?" I asked as he pulled my shirt up, sitting up criss-cross.

He stopped underneath the wire in my bra, and stared down at my stomach. I was confused, staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What are you doing?"

"Imagining the pain you underwent...and the horror you felt when you found out you were pregnant,"  Jayy said, meeting my eyes

I sat up, looking at him, "Jayy, I'm gonna admit it. When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared and excited. Scared because I'm a teen and didn't know what to do. Excited because I've always wanted children. And the pain...please don't imagine it," I begged

"Why not? Your pain is my pain, I feel whatever you feel," Jayy said

“Because this pain was horrible. I don't want you to feel it. I don't even want to think of what I went through anymore."

"How can you not when your carrying his baby?" Jayy asked, looking at my stomach

I looked at my belly, resting my hand on it, "You really wanna know?"

He nodded, reaching to put his hand on mine.

He smiled reassuringly at me, and I sighed, "I pretended I was carrying your child...not his," I admitted, giggling, "I know it's stupid, but I wouldn't be able to handle it so well if I didn't--," I was cut off by his lips on mine

"It's not stupid, it's okay," Jayy said as he pulled away

I blushed, pulling my shirt down, "It isn't?" I asked

"No, it's okay. If you want, I will be this child's daddy, you know. We can do this together," Jayy said

"I'd like that," I said, "Thank you Jayy. I expected you to like leave me or something,"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because the kid isn't yours," I said

“No, I wouldn't leave you because of that!" Jayy said, "I'd never leave you. I love you too much,"

I smiled, "I love you too,"

I laid back down, and Jayy followed suit. He wrapped me up in his arms, kissing my forehead. I sighed, burying my face in the crook of his neck. I heard his breathing slow, and I looked up, seeing him asleep. I giggled, closing my eyes and letting the darkness take over me.

as you can see i love writing about pregnancies oops 

another thing i want to point out.

is rape awareness.

I was a rape victim from age 14 to 16. My daughter was created out of rape. I got my justice. 

If you or anyone you know is suffering from rape, please call this hotline. They will help. I promise you.

1.800.656.HOPE

Nobody deserves the pain I went through. If you've been through it, god, I'm so sorry.

Visit this website for more awareness and tips.

https://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-hotline

Love,

Morgan xoxo