Saviour (Jayy Von Monroe)

twenty - let it begin

[Perrie's POV]

I walked to Dahvie's bedroom, finding him passed out watching TV. I laughed, putting my hand on his blanket. I pulled it up to his shoulder, and he immediately curled up, cooing. I smiled, kissing his forehead and turning his TV on low, knowing he hated sleeping without a source of sound on.

As I was going to turn off his lamp, I felt a contraction. I breathed in out through my nose, doing what my mom told me to do. I turned his lamp off, before escorting myself to the living room, knowing Jayy was also asleep. I went to my kitchen, putting my hands on the counter. I swayed my hips back and forth, rubbing my stomach.

The contractions were slow, almost ten minutes apart. And they weren't that bad. I just had to breathe as best as I could, and it would last for about two minutes. I walked around downstairs for an hour, before the contractions got faster and got very painful. I could feel myself breaking piece by piece.

I went upstairs to my bedroom, waking up Jayy. He looked at me, and I dropped to my knees and started crying. Jayy shot up and held me, asking what was wrong.

"The miscarriage is starting," I whimpered

"Oh my," Jayy held my tighter, "It's gonna be okay,"

"It hurts so bad!" I cried, "This is bullshit! I'm going through all this pain and the only reward I'm gonna get is a dead baby to bury!" I sobbed

"Baby, your going to be okay. The doctor said it'd be about a two day process. Tomorrow, you'll get to see her. And the doctor already told you some of the blood cleared up, and that the baby may live. She's almost full term," Jayy reminded me, kissing my head

I nodded, and went to sit on my toilet. I buried my face in my hands, crying. I wanted to get a fucking D&C, but I knew better. I wanted to have her naturally, and the doctor said that'd be the only way she might live. I tied my hair up in a bun, before crying out in pain.

I felt my water break, and Jayy walked in, "Are you peeing?"

"No! Dude, that's blood and water, not fucking pee!" I said sarcastically

 "Okay, okay!" Jayy laughed

I scowled, "Asshole," I laughed

I went to my bed, with a pad on of course, and over the course of four hours, I passed clots of blood. I fell asleep at 1am, considering my contractions calmed down enough for me.

I woke up to contractions, yet again. I found myself crying in pain, breathing as well as I could. My sobs started to cease by 2:30, giving me freedom to distract myself.
I had cleaned, made the boys some food, before the contractions had started again. I raced to my bathroom, getting in my bathtub. I turned the hot water on, calling my doctor.

I tried to relax, sitting in the water as I had contractions. I was telling my body to open, and after my contractions, I would breathe, relax, or sometimes curse at the universe for the fucked up shit I was undergoing.

I was about 6 and 8 centimeters dilated. I could feel my cervix opening and my belly hardening with the contractions, my back feeling like it was on fire.

I screamed for Jayy, finding myself pushing. I screamed loudly, my thighs trembling as I heard Jayy and the doctor enter the room. I lunged forward, pushing, my muscles straining, my neck craning as I screamed. 

"Alright honey, I need you to push again," The doctor states, Jayy crouching beside me, holding my wet hand

"I can't do this!" I scream, tears flowing from my eyes, "It hurts so bad!" 

"Come on baby, come on," Jayy whispers, moving his head away as I screamed, only to feel relief fill my body.

In the bloodied water, lay a little infant. 

She was there, she was with me. I picked her up, having Jayy hand me the sucker the doctor gave me, clearing her throat and sucking out the liquids. I prayed to the invisible God everyone talked about, pleading for my baby to start crying.

I cleaned her off, before hearing what I'd been praying for.

She started to cry, her tiny hands and feet moving around. I gasped, laughing in happiness, "She's alive!" I cried

Jayy and Dahvie cheered in happiness, while I lay in a bloodied pool of water. I held her while having breaks in my contractions, the doctor racing in and taking her away to evaluate her.

I lost track of time, and birthed a chunk of placenta. It was broken into pieces, and I covered it up with a towel. I breathed heavily, calming myself down. I stood up and rinsed off, draining the water and washing the blood stains off of me.

All I wanted to do was go see my baby, who according to Jayy, was tiny as hell, but doing amazing. I wanted to hold her close, and tell her how happy I was that she lived, and was here with me. She was my little light, and Jayy had is baby girl here.

I climbed out, feeling contractions still, but changed and walked into my bedroom. I saw the doctor letting Jayy feed her, and the look on his face made my heart swell.

He looked happy, and tears were coming down his face, he was so happy. The doctor saw me, and told me to sit, "Are you feeling lightheaded?"

"No, but I'm tired,"

"I suggest you go to sleep," She said

"How is my baby?"

"Surprisingly, for a seven month old baby who was supposed to pass on, she's fine!" She said, "It's a miracle, Perrie."

Jayy looked at me, "Come hold her,"

I did as he said, and took her into my arms. She was beautiful. I was mesmerized by her priceless beauty. She had more of me in her then anything.

I knew right then, that she was my little girl, and the bastard that created her, gave me a gift.