Different Shades

26

January 7, a week till the wedding

Rose outfit (3 months pregnant.)

Rose pov:

"oh my god we are going to be late to our own ultrasound appointment." I say groaning

"Baby, calm the hell down we are in the city at four-thirty in the afternoon I can't help the traffic." Christian says rolling his eyes

"Hey, listen we have only four days till our wedding and we had last minute dress alter someone had to get me pregnant in October with fucking twins." I say

He laughs "Rose don't go there because you are the one who loves to get fucked, just as much as I love fucking you." I swat his chest as he pulls into the parking lot of the hospital. "Come on baby mama get to waddling." Christian says laughing

I get out of his stupid ass truck, and put my sunglasses on. Christian meets me at the front of his truck and takes my hand in his as we walk into the building. The doors slide open and we make our way to the elevators. Couple of fans noticed us, and they normally don't ask me for pictures but this time they did and I was super happy to take one. We had to get upstairs and check in. I am twelve weeks and I am excited to see my babies move around in my belly.

"Ms. Jackson." The nurse says

Christian and I get in the door I was so giggly and ready. My favorite part of being pregnant with Lilly was the ultrasounds, just seeing her in there just chilling always made me happy. The nurse guides us in a room, helping me up on the doctor chair. She gives Christian the rollie chair. I don't miss the coldness of the gel. She smiles at me.

"So ready to see some fingers and toes?" She asked

"Oh my gosh yes, very much happy." I say taking a hold of Christian hand

"Here is baby A." she says smiling

"Baby look at the toes, and hands." I say pointing at the screen smiling

I see the nurse smile fade, and she kept moving the wand around on my stomach.

"Seems baby B is hiding, let me get the doctor maybe he can get the babies to move." She smiles at me putting the wand down, walking out.

"Wow, the kids are already trying to protect each other." He says laughing

"So probably a boy and girl or both boys." I say

"seems like a little me with you." he says kissing my head

The doctor comes in, not smiling just putting his gloves on. "heard your baby is hiding lets see if we can get them to move." He places his hand on my stomach pushing softly a few times "Now that I have woken the other twin hoping we can see." then he smiles

I love smiling doctors and nurses.

'Just stubborn like me doc." Christian says laughing

More cold gel, damn it. He moves the wand around my belly and shakes his head putting the wand down.

"Ms, Jackson what has happened here is Vanishing Twin Syndrome..it usually happens in the first month it is very rare for it to be happening this deep into the pregnancy." He pauses taking my hand "I am very sorry but baby A is perfectly fine and the tissues from baby B was absorbed by the living twin...its not as common, but you see it with twin pregnancy."

I heard him, but I just couldn't believe I lost one of my babies.

"I am very sorry to the both of you, but look on the good side you have a very healthy baby." The doctor says

I want to go home..I want to leave here. I look at Christian and he shakes his head helping me down.

"Thank you doctor." Christian says

I didn't know how we got to the truck so fast, but he helped me into the truck. I didn't know how to feel about this..yes I was only twelve weeks, but I won't be able to hold one of my baby hand hear their laugh..I know I still have my other baby and I am happy about that, but how could I loose the other...what the fuck is wrong with me?

"Baby, hey do not beat yourself up please don't not about this." Christian says

"home." is all I say

I don't know how to feel? should someone tell me how to feel? Does he feel sad? I just don't know what I fucking did wrong...

"Listen to me, I know you are blaming yourself but we couldn't help it baby." He is trying to confront me.

"I know I am sorry we could've had two babies though." I whisper

"Baby, trust me I know you are hurting and we will get pass this I swear we got through a lot you are going to be okay." He says

He is right, I am still pregnant with one of our babies and we have Lilly. "Once I give birth I want to get birth control I don't know if I want to have anymore babies." I say

"whatever you want to do baby, okay I am sorry I can't do anything for you." He says

I shake my head, this day is just fucking sad. "pull over somewhere." I say

It took about two minutes to find a spot, I opened the truck door getting out running to the grass getting on my knees throwing up. I felt so sick in this moment, everything from this morning and once that was out now it was just nothing vomiting liquid. Christian came to my side rubbing my back.

"Hey, hey its okay."

"I need mouth wash." I whimper

"I don't have any in the truck, I am sorry."

I felt the tears sliding down my face, I felt like I was screaming because the way Christian held me tight to his chest. I don't know why this hurts..I bet it would be worse if I lost two babies. I was helped to my feet, and once again back to the truck.

"come on baby lets get you home."

Home

I had brushed my teeth, and Christian made me a warm bath. He wouldn't leave my side, but I needed him too so I could cry. Without him making it better. "Can I please have some privacy?" I asked

He leaves me in the bathroom....