Tidal Moon (Renesmee & Jacob)

Chapter 14: Empty

 I brushed the back of my hand against my face to remove the remnants of the blood on my lips. Between the two of us, mom and I had taken down at least four mountain lions each. 
The leaves crunched beneath my feet as we walked back towards the house. I couldn't help but quicken my pace a little bit, knowing that Jacob was probably there by now. I heard mom's phone ring in her pocket and she quickly answered it. We continued to walk as I shot her a questioning look. 

"Okay, sounds good." She nodded keeping one hand shoved in her jacket pocket, holding the phone against her ear with the other. She hung up and quickly returned her phone to her pocket. 

"Jacob is going to head back to La Push to make sure the pack is okay. He should be back tonight." She said. I couldn't control my emotions or the frown that quickly shadowed across my pale face. I should have seen this coming.

"Oh. He must be a little angrier at me than he let on earlier." I sighed. It's not like I didn't deserve it. I couldn't expect him to welcome me back with open arms after I left the way that I did. I didn't deserve his compassion. He should be angry with me. 

"Nessie, he's not mad at you. I promise." She chuckled. "He's excited to have some one on one time with you actually. But he was controlling his thoughts pretty well on the plane so that your dad wouldn't rip his head off." Her words gave me some comfort. She had never lied to me before and I didn't expect her to start now. I just couldn't forget the way Jake's lips felt on mine, and I undeniably craved more. I craved the sensation of just being near him.

"How are you feeling about him? I know that you've just had something quite traumatic happen to you, but I don't want that to cloud your mind and make you feel like you need him." She sighed. I knew that this was coming and I was not angry at her for asking. After all, it is a logical conclusion to draw. I took a moment to answer, focusing on my feet as they crushed the leaves beneath them. 

"When I was gone it felt like my entire world exploded and I was just left empty and cold. I couldn't stop thinking about him. Naturally I assumed it was because of our pre-existing connection. I blamed it all on the imprint. But then every single time I was scared or happy I would want to hear his voice because at the end of the day nothing felt complete without him. When I woke up and didn't see him waiting at the door with that lopsided smile it felt like my chest was being torn open. That's when I realized that my future was nothing without him in it. I never want to stop feeling how he makes me feel. When River was kicking me I screamed Jacob's name, because I realized he makes everything better. He always has." I felt the trueness of the words radiate through my body, setting my cells on fire.

"You love him, don't you?" She asked. I nodded, still looking at the ground. 

"I think I loved him even before I left Forks, I was just running from it because I didn't understand what I was feeling." I sighed. She rubbed my back and smiled at me. 

"I'm happy for you. I promise." She kissed the side of my head as the house came into view. I found comfort in knowing that I had my entire family's support in this. Suddenly a question popped into my mind. 

"Hey mom, can I actually go to La Push. I know I just got home, but I want to see everybody over there. I'll stop by and see grandpa on my way home." I chirped quickly. I knew throwing that I'd go see Charlie in there would make mom a little more agreeable. She looked like she was deep in thought for a moment before finally answering.

"Of course." She broke into a smile. "Tell him that your father and I will be coming to visit soon."

"Thank you." I smiled in excitement and gave her a tight hug. We were already home now. She hugged me back tightly before we walked inside of the large and neatly decorated home. As expected, everyone was waiting in the living room.