Tidal Moon (Renesmee & Jacob)

Chapter 19: Heaven

 When we pulled up to the house I could see that Emse had made a point of leaving all of the lights on. Through the large upstairs window I could see Carlisle pacing back and forth in his study with a perplexed expression on his face. 

"He's just concerned about what information we have. He's afraid that something bad has happened again. Don't worry, he will be relieved once he finds out that it's actually something good." Dad explained, his eyes also seeming to find their way towards Carlisle. 

"I don't suppose you can read Jacob's thoughts and see how mad he is before we go in there?" I asked, looking over and sighing in desperation. 

"Why don't you give it a shot?" Dad smiled, obviously revelling in another opportunity for me to show off my newfound ability. I bit my bottom lip and considered this for a few moments before finally giving in to the reality that it may actually be a good idea.

 I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of the fresh air that flowed freely through the open windows of the sleek foreign car. I mentally tried to locate where Jacob was most likely to be within the large house. He usually took up residence on the couch situated in the middle of the living room. I imagined him there and pushed my center of focus towards him. 

 Unlike my difficult experience with Alice, I was not met with resistance from him. It was as though he opened up and welcomed me in without even realizing he was doing it. 

 - I'm so stupid. She's not even going to want to be around me. First, I say something incredibly cruel to her, and now Edward has taken it upon himself to tell her about the one thing I was trying to protect her from. 

 I frowned. I hated that he felt so down on himself and I wished that I could make it better, but sadly Jacob has mastered the art at self-loathing and he has mastered it well. Even when I was growing up I realized that he was exponentially harder on himself than normal people. To be fair, I guess none of us are really all that normal. 

"Don't attempt to talk to him right now." Dad said quickly.

"I'm sorry?" I asked in a mixture of both confusion and excessive annoyance. Who is he to tell me what I can and can't do? He seemed to sense my aggravation and quickly jumped to his own defense. 

"I didn't mean it that way, I promise. All I meant is that we don't want to completely catch him off guard. Better that we explain it first and then do a little showing off." He explained, an apologetic expression clouding over his stern face. 

"I guess you're right." I mumbled looking down at my hands. I couldn't deny that I was a bit nervous to go inside as I didn't really know how they would react. 

"It'll be fine." Dad assured me, giving my hand a soft squeeze. 
"You've been so strong, through all of this. You haven't even had time to really catch a break and breathe, yet you're still handling all of this with grace. I'm so proud of you."

I felt myself almost tear up as I smiled back over at him. 
"Thank you." I whispered. 
"I love you, dad."

 A small knock on the window caught both of our attention. Alice stood there looking impatient as she tapped the watch on her wrist. 

"I hate to interrupt your bonding moment, I truly do. But, we should really get in there." She said. 

 I swung the door open and stepped out of the car and onto the long and unruly green grass, taking my time as I began the walk towards the front steps. I couldn't quite place where my hesitancy was coming from, but I could tell that this conversation had no chance of going completely smooth. At one point it was bound to blow up, much like a ticking time bomb. I'm just playing the waiting game.