Meet With You

KABANATA 30 part 2

Kabanata 30

It's been 3 years since I figured out I was pregnant with my baby boy. I love him so much parang hindi ko siya mahawakan ng mga oras na masilayan ko na siya habang akay akay siya sa bisig ni mama takot akong baka paghinawakan ko na siya ay biglang umiyak at mahulog but teardrops keep falling when my baby is in my arms. I can't stop my tears because of happiness that keep growing from within me. But on the other side I'm sad for my son not having a dad and a complete family he deserves.

He's already a grown up child now and I have noticed that he's really like his father.

Few years ago sila mama na ang nagpatuloy  sa sinimulan ko, sila ang nagbigay hustisya para saakin at nasa kulungan na si Kathlyn hindi ko alam ang buong pangyayari dahil hindi sinabi sa akin ni mama dahil daw baka sumama pa ang pakiramdam ko. Until now, lihim parin kung anong nangyari kay Kathlyn at kung nasaan na si Matthew. May karapatan siyang malaman na may anak siya at karapatan rin nang anak ko na malaman at makilala ang ama niya pero hindi pa ako handa. Naisip ko ring napaka selfish ko naman kung sarili ko lang ang iisipin ko. Nangangailangan ng kalinga ng ama ang anak ko kaya naisip kung lumuwas na ng manila sa makalawa.

"Mom! Mommy!" Sigaw ng anak ko habang tumatakbo may luha sa mga pisngi at labis ko iyong ikinalungkot dahil ayokong nakikita siyang umiiyak.

"Why what happened?" Nag aalala kong tanong

"Mom *sob* where's my dad? Where's dad mommy I miss him I want to see him mom.. I want to prove them I have dad" umiiyak na sumbong sa aking ng anak ko habang turo-turo ang pinang galingan niyang slide dito sa play ground.

"Mom? Is daddy coming home?" Tanong niya ulit. I don't know what to tell him and I don't want to see him crying and asking for wherever his dad is.

"You'll meet him sooner. Okay we'll coming back to manila and you can meet your there okay? Don't cry okay honey?" Wala na akong magagawa pa kaya nag bitiw na ako ng salita anak ko na iyong naghahanap ng kalinga ng isang ama and I cannot say no because it is not about me, It is about my son.

"Really mom?!" He exclaimed. I can see the happiness in him hindi lamang sa mga ngiti niya kundi pati narin sa mga mata niya. He's eyes are a resemblance of Matthew's eyes. He really like a mini Matthew dahil tanging ilong at ang kulay lamang ng buhok ang nakuha sa akin.

"Of course honey, you'll meet your father soon. Are you excited?" Masaya ako sa anak ko dahil nakikita kong masaya siya sa nalaman niyang makikita na niya si Matthew.

"Yes mom! That's a promise okay!?" And I just nod and smile as a response.

Even though I don't know how to communicate with Matthew I left my word to my son and I know it is very important for him and he's expecting me to fulfill my promise.

Natatakot ako sa magiging reaksyon ni Matthew. We ended not closing every door of our memories and relationship and I cannot accept it that he'll deny my son, his son.

Days had passed and we are fast approaching Mathews reaction. A friend told me days ago that he's still in the Building his working and told me he haven't been with a lady since I left and I'm not stupid to deny what my hearts been shouting because it's still him no matter how much years had passed if I love him then Love him for the rest of my life. He's the father of my son anyway I love him more because of that, I love them both.

Dahil sa pagod agad na nakatulog si Eros sa sala at hinayaan ko nalang muna dahil ayokong gisingin kasi alam kong pagod ito at magdamag itong gising habang nag babyahe.

I'm so nervous about Eros and Matthew Meeting. I just cannot bare my child being rejected by his own father. I immediately searched about Matthew and I saw only one picture that a month ago was taken. He's still looks the same but jawline had become more intense and his bright hazel brown eyes becomes darker. He looked like more intense than before.