WHATS UP BITCHES!!! SO SIMCE I CAN'T SEEM TO MALE MYSELF START A DIARY THIS WILL BE MY RANT SPACE. SO LETS GET INTO IT SHALL WE?
SO TODAY I WAS CLEANING THE HOUSE WITH MY AUNT AND MOM BECAUSE MY GRANDPA'S NURSE WAS COMING. (MY GRANDPA HAS DEMENTIA BTW) SO I WAS CLEANING THE BATHROOM.
SO I WAS DOING GOOD CLEANING. SO I WANT TO SAY THAT I SSPENT MOST OF MY LIFE WITH MY ABUSIVE DAD SO WHILE OTHER PEOPLE WERE LEARNING I WAS GETTING CHOKED AND BEAT UP.
AND AFTER THAT I WAS IN FOSTER CARE SO I AM BEHIND AND CATCHING UP.
SO MY MOM SAID TO DO SOMETHING THAT I HAD NEVER SONE BEFORE (I'M NOT GOING TO SAY WHAT BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF ME). SO I ASKED FOR HELP. SIMPLE AS THAT.
MY AUNT COMES AND INSISTS THAT I SHOULDN'T GET HELP. I KEPT TRYING TO SAY THAT I HAD NEVER DONE OT BEFORE AND ALL I NEEDED WAS FOR SOMEONE TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
SO MY MOM TELLS ME TO ASK MY AUNT TO SHOW ME. I ASK HER AND MY AUNT COMES WITH ME.
I ASK HER WHAT TO DO BUT SHE WON'T TELL ME. SO SHE SAT THERE AND WATCHED AS I DID IT WRONG BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT. AND WORSE IS WHEN I FINISHED AND TURNED TO HER TO SEE IF I HAD DONE IT ROGHT SHE STARTS YELLING AT ME.
WITH HER FRIEND ON THE PHONE!
SO I WAS ASKING HER IF SHE COULD JUST HELP ME DO I COULD DO IT RIGHT BUT SHE STARTS YELLING AT ME SAYING I DID IT WRONG ON PURPOSE. AND I TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO HER THAT I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT.
THEN SHE LEAVES AND I COULD HEAR HERE TALKONG ABT ME ON THE PHONE WITH HER FRIEND. AND I JUST SNAPPED. I FELL TO THE FLOPR AND STARTED SOBBING. THIS WEEK ALOME HAD BEEN REALLY HARD BUT TJAT WAS MY VREAKING POINT.
AND I ENDED UP DOING IT AS I SOBBED ONTO MY SHIRT UNTIL MY AUNT DECIDED IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH. BUT EVEN THEN SHE SAID I DIDN'T DO IT GOOD ENOUGH.
AND SHE ALWAYS DOES THAT. WHENEVER I DO SOMETHING THAT I'VE STRUGGLED WOTH HER AND MY MOM ALWAYS DEGRADE IT BY SAYING THAT I DIDN'T DO IT GOOD ENOUGH OR POINTING OUT WHAT I DID WRONG.
AND EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS MY FAULT. MY AMD MY AUNT ARE ALWAYS GANGING UP ON ME FPR THE LITTLEST MISTAKE. NO ONE IS EVER THERE TO BE ON MY SIDE AND MY AUNT MAKES A JOKE OF WHENEVER I SAY SOMETHING OR EXPRESS MY FEELINGS SHE GOES "JUST TRYING TO FIND IF I CARE. OH YEAH NOT." AND IT'S FUNNY TO HER AND MY MOM BUT IT REALLY HURTS MY FEELINGS.
I'VE TRIED TO TELL HER BUT HER AND MY MOM ALWAYS BANE TOGETHER TP INVALIDATE MY FEELINGS. AND IT HIRTS BECAISE AT ONE POINT ME AND MY AUNT WERE SO CLOSE BUT NOW SHE'S ALWAYS HURTING MY FEELINGS.
I HATE BEING ALIVE BUT TOO MANY PEOPLE CARE ABT ME SO I'D BE SELFISH TO KILL MYSELF. BUT THEN AGAIN MY AUNT ALWAYS CALLS ME SELFISH SO MAYBE I SHOULD BE.(PLS DON'T REPORT ME GFPR RANTING THX)
