lost in you (chris evans)

part eleven

It was 6am and my phone blared with my alarm on the table beside my bed, which would normally be waking me up, except today I was already lying in bed wide awake. Two days had passed since that night in Chris' trailer, and I was completely wracked with guilt as I couldn't help but regret running out on him like that. I know I was panicked in the moment, and didn't want to ruin our 'professional' relationship, but I knew I liked him, and there was no denying that now. 

He was my friend before anything else, and even if he was just caught up in the moment and didn't really mean the things he said, I still owed it to him to at least discuss it, to clear things up. I was back on set today and it would be the first time I'd see him, so I was going in with the intention to talk to him and try and be an adult about it - which normally I'm not very good at. I'd been so unnecessarily nervous all weekend - hence why I was already awake. My brain had been running through every possible outcome at a million miles a minute and it felt like it just wouldn't quit.

Eventually overcoming my reluctance, I dragged myself out of bed to make sure I got to set on time, hopefully ensuring that I at least wouldn't end up getting fired today.

***

Having just finished in hair and makeup, I was waiting in the cafeteria for my call time. It was still morning but I hadn't run into Chris yet which was weird for this time. Normally he'd greet me by my trailer with a hot drink when I came in, or come by whilst I was getting my makeup done to try and distract me and make me laugh.   

Stuck in my thoughts I sat stirring my tea, not noticing that Scarlett and Lizzie had sat down by me until they spoke.

"Hey Margot, are you okay?" Lizzie asked first.

I looked up at her and smiled. "Yeah, just didn't get much sleep last night that's all."

She returned a knowing smile.

"Evans told me you were watching a movie with him the guys last week, if Stan picked the movie then I hope it wasn't as harrowing as last time." Scarlett said.

I chuckled. "Surprisingly the movie was fine, but what happened afterwards was not so much..."

"Wait, what happened?" Lizzie inquired curiously.

"Well... after the movie finished Seb and Anthony left but I stayed back for another drink with Chris, and, well, maybe we just drank too much or something but we spoke for a while and we nearly kissed..."

"Nearly?" Scarlett asked.

"Yeah, well we were right there until suddenly his phone rang and I just panicked and left."

"Why did you leave?!" Lizzie exclaimed.

I dropped my head in frustration. "Ugh I don't know, but now I just feel bad cause I've left the guy hanging and he hasn't spoken to me since and I'm scared I've fucked everything up and I've only known him for a month."

"Hey don't worry," Scarlett reassured. "He's probably just trying to give you space, have you tried talking to him?"

"No... I was going to try and to that today but he seems to be MIA."

"What do you think you'll say?" Lizzie asked.

"I honestly don't know. I haven't really planned that far ahead, but I just hate this silence."

Scarlett nodded. "Well how do you feel?"

"How do I feel? It doesn't really matter how I feel though does it? I mean we work together and I don't want to fuck that up too." Lizzie and Scarlett laughed. "What's so funny?"