Fine

Chapter 7

I stare at him for a moment.

My lips are still tingling from the kiss (that he initiated) a few seconds ago.

I don't know what to say. Yes, he's straight. I know that. Or at least I thought I did.

So if he's straight and drunk and I'm gay and sober, then I'm probably in the wrong here, right? I shouldn't have kissed him back. I shouldn't have let him kiss me at all. I should have started driving as soon as we got in the car, to take him right back home. Even if that would mean his parents would be potentially unhappy with him, at least I wouldn't have basically just assaulted one of my best friends.

"I- I'm sorry," I finally manage to stutter out. "I shouldn't have..."

He blinks, then that little crease appears between his eyebrows as he frowns. "No. Why?"

"You're straight, and I know that. I shouldn't have let you-"

He frowns more. "No, you should have."

"But I shouldn't have kissed you back-"

"Yes, you should have."

"But you're straight."

"Yeah, but..." he sighs, shaking his head a little. I've learned that he does that when he's trying to clear his head, though right now it'll probably just give him a headache. "But I wanted you to. Let me, and kiss me back."

I start the car, and he reaches over and turns it right back off. I sigh. "You're drunk. You're drunk and straight and I know both of those things, so no, I should not have let you kiss me or kissed you back."

He looks a little sad. "That's not what I meant, though."

"What?"

"By 'straight'."

I stare at him for a second, then release the breath I was holding through my nose. "What did you mean then?"

"That..." he looks like he's grasping for something, and he's just still so clearly at least partially drunk that I decide this conversation will be impossible, so I just tap on the hand he's holding the bottle of water with to remind him to drink it, and then turn on the car and pull out of my parking spot.

"Levi..." he says, quietly, like he's sad. I don't look at him, because I don't think it'd be safe to do so while I'm driving at night and still trying to think clearly through that kiss because his lips are absolute heaven.

So all I say is, "Keep drinking water. And tell me if you're going to puke so I can pull over."

I hear the gentle crinkling of the plastic bottle, which tells me he's listening. After another few moments, he says, "I'm not that drunk, Levi. I'm just tired. I'm just..."

"How many drinks?"

He's quiet for a moment, before saying, "No more than... um..."

That's reassuring.

"Levi, really. I promise I'm not drunk. I'm really okay."

I sigh. "Why are you trying to convince me of that?"

He's quiet for a moment. "So you don't blame yourself. Because... I wanted-"

"Okay," I interrupt, because I don't know if I'd be able to listen to him tell me that he wanted me kissing him when he just said that he's straight. Because knowing that he's straight, hearing it come out of his mouth (which had been kissing me moments before) doesn't seem to have any effect at all on how much I like him. Because I still like him a lot, and I still can't forget what it felt like to have his lips on mine. "Okay, Nate. I won't blame myself."