Fine

Chapter 10

Levi has a nice face. I like a lot of things about it. For example: his nose. A nice, smooth slope, not too long and not too short. Also, his jawline. I got distracted looking at that jawline for a good two minutes earlier. And let's not forget those eyes... and even the general shape of his face, because it's really just a nice overall shape- not awkward, not too tall or too short, or wide or skinny, or particularly pear-like- ooh, and then the most prominently attractive feature: his lips (the top one, specifically). I could stare at his lips for a very long time and not be bored.

I think I have been, actually. I've been staring at him for longer than I probably should be, but it's hard to look away. He's talking to someone- one of the other basketball guys, I think- and he's smiling and his face just looks beautiful. He looks so relaxed and at ease and just beautiful.

"Hey."

I jump and spin around to see Jordan, and let my face settle into a flat glare when I see his smirk.

"What are you doing? You've been standing at your locker for at least five minutes," he comments, still smirking. I roll my eyes at him and start (actually) going through my locker.

"Shut up."

He lowers his voice, coming closer so that I'm the only one that can hear him. "Is Levi looking good today?"

I set my jaw, because Levi looks good every day, but I'm not going to say that. He had a 'bad hair day' once, and he just looked more attractive than usual with his untamed bedhead. It didn't particularly help that Chase kept ruffling it to get under his skin. My 'looking at but not thinking about' policy was nearly broken more than once that day.

Jordan continues to smirk at my lack of response but does leave me alone and instead tells me to hurry up so we can leave. We had football practice this morning, so basketball is after school today and Jordan and I get to leave at dismissal.

We go to Jordan's house, because his parents aren't home and we're making an active but unspoken effort to stay away from my parents now that he's aware of their opinions towards him and his boyfriend and every other person like them. I collapse onto his bed and he takes his chair, giving me a pointed look. "You've been distracted lately. What's up?"

I make a face, which confirms his suspicions of why I've been distracted lately. No huge surprise: it's because of Levi. It's gotten harder since Saturday, since I kissed him twice. I've been looking at him more, and even though I'm not thinking about things to do with the things I'm noticing about him, it's getting harder to deny that I'm not indifferent to him. Like, in a feelings sort of way. Yes, we're friends, but...

I look at him, and I see him, and how gorgeous he looks. And no, I don't think about how amazing I know his lips to be, or how gentle I know his caress to be, or- I don't think about any of that. But it doesn't seem to matter very much, because I can't stop looking at him anyways, and I have this deep longing to kiss him again. I can make it feel separate from myself, distant, but it's still there. And that makes my situation about twenty times more difficult.

It's also not particularly helped when I get a text from him telling me that the GSA is having another fundraiser and then asking if I'd be game to try and get Chase and Jordan to help out again. I reply yes, and he says to come to the GSA meeting tomorrow at lunch. I send a thumbs-up emoji back and spend the rest of the night trying not to let Jordan know about my reason for going to GSA tomorrow (he eventually concludes that I want to stare at Levi some more, which isn't totally inaccurate).

Tomorrow comes quickly, and I zone out in my morning classes, though I'm kinda happy for no real reason. As soon as the bell rings, I go to the GSA room. I get there before Levi, which is kind of funny, and I wonder belatedly if I was supposed to wait for him to come to my locker to get me, but decide that it's probably fine. If he goes to my locker, Jordan will still probably be there to let him know that I've already left (or he'll be with Chase, which would also give him an opportunity to tell Levi where I am).