They Don't Know About Us

|54|

"No!" I scream as I bolt up in my bed. My chest heaves as I greedily gulp in deep breaths desperately trying to get oxygen into my lungs. My hair clung to my face with sweat as my eyes dart around in the dark.

My hand frailes around on my dresser trying to find my phone in the dark. It finally lands on it and I pick it up and dial the number at the top. It only rings twice before she picks up, "Jessie are you okay?" I let out a sigh of relief as I hear her voice at the other end of the phone, "Yeah. Yeah I just really needed to hear your voice". "Did it happened again?" She whispers through the phone and I sigh wiping my hand down my face.

It's been 3 month since the stadium shooting. And once Elliot was discharged from hospital she stayed in La for a while needing to get use to everything again. She was restricted to a wheelchair so she needed to get use to moving around in the wheelchair and relying on people more. All the girls took time off and stayed with us for a while to try and help before they too needed to head back to their clubs. Christen and Tobin both stayed longer though refusing to leave until Elliot felt more comfortable.

It was dreadful to say the least

Elliot was in a lot of pain which was to be expected. The doctor said it would be a while before the pain stopped. There was good days and bad days. Some days she would wake up in so much pain that it hurt to breathe. Others she would be fine and would barely feel any pain. But no matter what she would always try to hide or behind a smile or make a joke.

But it only made me worry for her more

If she keeps bottling it up eventually she's going to explode. The doctors say that they can try physical therapy once the pain stops in her stomach but it's going to be a long recovery and they're not even sure if she'll ever regain full control of her leg again.

And then there was the nightmares

I don't think either of us got a full night's sleep. After the first few nights back at the house, she woke up screaming at 3am. Christen and Tobin had to run into the room to help her finally calm down. We try to get her to talk about it but she shakes her head and hugs us tighter refusing to think about it. She even flinches at loud noises now. And I'm not fairing much better. I have nightmares of my own. Replays of the shooting or Elliot flatlining constantly over and over again as I sleep but all with the worst possible outcome.

I was able to hide it for a while as I would wake up and look over at Elliot sleeping beside me to reassure myself it wasn't real but Elliot then woke up one night and caught me but she didn't press it. All she did was hug me into her letting me know she was there.

Christen practically begged Elliot to go see someone hoping that maybe talking about it with someone would stop the nightmares but Elliot downright refused. We acted like we didn't notice but we could tell that it was really affecting Christen as well. You could almost see the heartbreak in her eyes everytime she so much as looked or mentioned Elliots name. The only one in the house who seemed to be holding it together was Tobin.

But after about 2 months we all knew we had to get back to work. Christen and Tobin both had to return to their clubs. I had to address the mountain of school work that's been piling up and had to start going back to college. And Elliot had to go to Arsenal. Although she feared that they may terminate her contract, they were very adamant that they were going to do everything possible for her.

We all feared about her going over alone. Mark and Sarah tried to go over with her but Elliot refused saying they needed to be here to run the company in her absence and make sure the Future Star kids had everything they needed. Elliot was set on going over alone but I went behind her back and got Daan to fly over so she had someone with her. Although she was mad about it, we could all tell she missed the Dutch player and felt a bit more comfortable that someone was going to be with her.