Lost Memory Of Love

Chapter 34- It was all a Lie

I heard the sound of siren again. I saw them rushing towards me. Shouting my name. Anger filled my system. Anger, sadness, regrets, false hopes. It was mixed emotions. My cheeks are wet due to crying. Nakalapit na sila sa akin at agad akong hinawakan sa braso ni Blake. Tinapig ko agad yon at binigyan siya Ng malakas na sampal. I was out of control that time. Everything feels surreal. I just wanted to act that it was all a dream but it wasn't.

"Paano mo yon nagawa saken?" I unbelievably said. He shook his head. I'm not referring from the past. I am referring from what he did to me this past months. He came out like nothing happened before. He let me believe in all lies. "Ano yon Blake? Akala mo ganon lang yon kadali saken. Na pagbalik mo at maalala ko na ang lahat wala lang saken? Na porket andyan ka na, okay lang yung nangyari dati? Ano?!" I cried so hard. There are many unsaid words in my mind. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang uunahin ko.

Napasabunot na lang ako sa sarili ko at napaupo sa gilid ng poste. Umupo din si Blake sa harap ko at pilit akong niyayakap. Tinulak ko siya kaya napaupo siya ng tuluyan sa may kalsada. Inalalayan agad siya ni Missy habang si Bunny naman ay pinapatahan ako. "Bakit ganon? You fed me with lies all this time. Masaya ba kayo na nakikita ako na pinapaniwalaan yung mga kasinungalingan niyo?" I can't help but to question every single bit of it. Hindi ko to inaasahan.

"I asked you all so many times, even Ninang, how come you still lied to me? Sa tingin niyo okay yon? Ha?! Na nagtanim pa ako ng sama ng loob kayna Mommy at Daddy dahil sa ang alam ko iniwan talaga nila ako?!" Tiningnan ko sila while my tears are streaming on my face. Deserve ko ba lahat nang 'to?

"Aren't my sufferings enough huh? Para dagdagan niyo pa? Are you all happy from what you did?! What now?! Ano? This thing makes you happy? Hiding the reality to me? Ilang beses ko ba Kayo tinanong? Diba na hospital pa nga ako tapos wala lang pala yon? Kasinungalingan lang pala?" I asked them. Missy and Bunny was crying so hard. Blake want me to calm down but who is he to command me.

He left. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko. Kung hindi lang sana ako bumalik noon, siguro hindi ako nagka amnesia. By this time, maybe I'm fully recovered. Kung hindi lang sana sa lintik na pag ibig na yan. Napasigaw ako sa sobrang sakit. It feels like the pain from the past came back to me now. Walang sumagot sa kanila.

Matapang kong pinunasan ang luha ko at tumayo. My knees are shaking too much but I want to get rid of them. Biglang umikot ang paningin ko kaya napahawak ako sa poste. Blake immediately attended to me but I just ignored him. I walked pass through them but minutes later my eyesight turns to black.

I woke up on my room. Sobrang sakit ng ulo ko at pakiramdam ko ay maga ang aking mga mata. Tears suddenly rushed on my cheeks ng maalala ko nanaman ang nangyari. I hugged my knees as my head was burried on it. Umiyak lamang ako ng umiyak. "Mom, dad," those words just slipped on my mouth in an instant.

I suddenly wanted to hear their voices again, their laughs. I want to see the spark on their eyes as we are talking.... Just like before...

I was longing too much. This is too much. What's happening right now is too much. I don't know where or when will I start again. To whom will I hold this time? Everyone who surrounds me are all liars. Sarili ko lang ang mapapagkatiwalaan ko. Even kuya, he lied to me. Paano niya naatim na papaniwalain ako sa kasinungalingan tungkol sa mga magulang namin. At si Ninang, Wala ba siyang utang na loob kayna mom at dad?

My door suddenly open so I look at it. Umakyat lahat ng dugo ko sa ulo at nakaramdam ng sobrang galit. Lalong bumuhos ang luha ko. "Shainter," he called me. Tiningnan ko lang siya habang pinapahiran ng marahas ang luha sa pisngi ko. "Let's talk, let me explain. Please." He begged.

Binato ko siya ng unan sa sobrang galit. Hindi siya umilag at lalo pang umabante para malapitan ako. Halos ibato ko na lahat ng unan sa kama ko. Lumapit Lang siya Ng tuluyan sa akin at pilit ako hinahagkan. Hjnahampas ko lang siya ng paulit ulit. "Let me explain please...please" Hindi ko siya pinakikinggan. Ano pa ang i eexplain  niya? Mag ssorry siya? Para saan pa?