Survival | JJK / KTH / PJM | BTS FANFICTION

Survival - Devil's Eyes - Chapter 35

I wasn't going to edit a video for this chapter, but I wanted to show you their alpha darkness, and since On: E concert had matching contents, I decided to use it! Please watch it ^^ (1080p60) it's a glimpse of each alpha's darkness! Hope you liked it! I made it in a hurry because I wanted to update the chap as soon as possible T_T

Please make sure to refresh the chapter for the latest updated ver! I'd like to apologize in advance for any errors or mistakes! I'll be fixing it tomorrow! Enjoy!

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Fast Forward 

Yoongi's POV

Leaning back against the armchair, I turned and gazed at the cloudy skies from the alpha's building lounge. Just two years ago, I was an ordinary guy delivering pizzas for a living. I used to think life sucked because all I had known growing up was hardship. My parents never abused me, but they were never truly present in my life either. They were always away... and I was always left alone to fend for myself. I'm sometimes envious of not being able to live a comfortable life or being cared for by my family. Until... Sora came along. You see, I lived an isolated life... devoid of affection... and life was dull. No light nor warmth was meant for a person like me. Sora... she's like a little sparkle of light. It was just a small spark at first but I soon realized she was always the one to brighten up my pitiful life. She's the definition of a pure soul, the one who is consistently optimistic even during the darkest times. She was my comfort.

But I lost everything when I came to Seoul. She did too. The good thing was I no longer had to take out the trash for people when I delivered pizzas. I didn't have to worry about being broke. I didn't have to worry about my future at all. It's the life I dreamed of living, carved by my own hands. But instead, it was already given to me. Born to be an alpha. I couldn't help but ponder the purpose of my existence when I first found out about my real identity, and the thought was so foreign I even tried to escape the game, but I couldn't. Sora and I, we tried to desert our privileged life because we were traumatized by the cult's evil. But we couldn't escape, we were sucked right back into it, and there was no way out. The only escape is death, and even if I wanted to die, they won't let me. They'll keep on reviving me, over and over again.

People change when they enter this society. Sora was no longer the pure soul I thought she was, but it isn't her fault. It's the cult. I changed too, we all evolved. I let her go because it was the only way to protect her, as my parents claimed. I thought I could fix everything and return to her, but it never happened. Of course, I was desperate at first because I hated drowning in the sorrowful pit. I needed my comfort. So naturally, I resisted my parents. The result? They drugged me. Over and over again. At first, I hated it, but eventually, I felt a little at ease. It was their way of chaining me down. I live every single minute of my life daydreaming about the life I left behind in Busan. But it's long gone, the place and the happiness... it's all abandoned there. Even our love, it ended ever since Sora left. It was the last piece of us. And that's the reason why I decided to give up on Sora. No matter what I do, we'll never be the same. We've seen too much, felt too much, and suffered too much to mend the broken crack between us. We're both different versions of ourselves now, so I figured it was best to let her go. As long as she's happy, I'm happy.

Well, at least that's the excuse I used to persuade myself. To hold on to the good memories and let go of the bad ones. I felt alright after time passed but during my low times... the feeling emerges... desperately begging for warmth again. Though it passes just as quickly. It lasts for a day or two or when I'm high or drunk. I felt like shit, but it was bearable. I got used to her being happy with another person. How can I be jealous? We're now different people, we can't love each other the way we used to. So I let go. I did. Until the engagement news came out. I felt really uneasy but figured it was just one of my low times. Therefore, I dismissed it. But then... I saw her facial expression. It was dreary... dead inside... even if she's a completely different person now... she was still the girl I once loved. I knew her, better than any of the assholes she dated. I knew her, just one glance and I knew... it wasn't her choice.