let go || j.m.b

part 26

we finally arrive to the house that the party was been thrown at . as i got out the car i can feel my anxiety get high . i don't know why i'm not a huge fan of being around so much people especially parties .

" kels you coming " tae asked as i just stood there

" tae why don't you walk in with kels so she doesn't feel you know " sophia said as he nods and gets close to me and holds my hand

" kels are you okay your shaking " he said

" yeah um sorry it's just my anxiety " i said

" look don't worry clam down i'm here " he said giving me a smile as i nod and we both walk in . the smell of alcohol, weed , sweat hit my face . people all over the place , couples making out everywhere , bottle of beers all over the place . the music so loud i can barely even hear anything

" kels " tae said as i look at him

" yes " i said

" want something to drink " he asked

" um some water " i said as he nods

" i'll be right back , don't move " he said giving me a smile as i nod and stand there . knowing sophia she dipped and left me all alone . i felt so weird just being here .. all of the sudden i feel something push me making me push someone

" what the fuck is your problem " this girl said

" oh my god i'm so sorry someone pushed me " i said

" watch it " she said looking up and it was the girl joey was with .. what is she doing here .. does this mean joey is here .. did they come together ???

" oh it's you " she said as i just don't say anything

" i just wanna say you have some nerve showing up after what happened the other day " she said as i can feel myself starting to shake again

" thanks to you joey is all over the place , i really don't see what he sees in you i mean look at you , you look a slut " she said

" by the way you look pregnant and i just wanna say that me and joey have been messing around for a long time now so if you ever think of going back to him just know that he's with me the whole time you useless whore " she said giving me a smile and walking away . i could feel the tears about to fall out of my eyes but i couldn't look weak . not here and not now i just can't .

" kels " tae said handing me the cup and noticed i'm shaking again

" are you okay your shaking again " he said but i couldn't hold it in . i drop the cup and walk upstairs to the bathroom and start crying. i couldn't handle the words she said .. what if she's right .. why am i not enough for him . why can't he just love me and be with me .. only me . why am i so stupid what's wrong with me . i then hear someone knocking on the door

" kels what's wrong " i hear tae asks as i say nothing

" if you want we can leave " he said as i get up and clean myself up a bit before opening the door

" are you okay " he asked

" can you just take me home " i asked as he nods and we both walk downstairs

" give me a second i'm gonna look for soph don't move " he said as i nod and watched him leave again . i then see him .. joey . he was all over the place i then noticed him look up at me and i immediately look away and walk towards the front door and leave . i know tae told me not to move but i can't . i can't handle all these feelings i have right now . i then start running as i hear joey yell my name

" kels stop " he says following me

" please " he said as he started catching up but i couldn't keep going . i barely could breath i then feel him behind me catching his breath

" kels " he said out of breath

" i'm sorry " he said as i could feel tears falling down my cheek

" you were with the whole entire time you were with me huh " i said as he said nothing and i shake my head and turn towards him and start hitting him with my hands as i feel tears fall down my cheeks .

" i hate you , i hate you " i said as he just stood there

" kels " he said holding my hands as i see tae , sophia , and some other people looking at us. i then remove my hands from him and try running away but he pulls me back

" kels stop " he said

" let go " i said

" kelsey.. " he said as i pulled my hands away and started running away and knew tae and soph were behind me following.

" kels " tae said as he catches up to me

" leave me alone " i said

" kels please stop " he said as i just fall to ground and cry . i then feel him hug me tight

" i'm sorry " he said

" what's wrong with me " i said

" why am i not enough "

" don't talk about yourself like that , your beautiful, amazing, and enough " he said as he pulled away

" look at me " he said as i ignore him

" look at me kels " he said and ignore him again and then feel his hands cup my face making me look at him

" don't ever talk or think about yourself like do you understand " he said as he wipes the tears off my face and i then hear sophia

" omg are you okay " she said hugging me

" i'm so sorry " she said

" it's not fault " i said

" ugh i swear once i get home joey is definitely gonna g-" she said as tae cut her off

" hey soph stay here with kels while i go get the car okay " he said as sophia nods and we watch tae run back

" soph " i said quietly as she looks at me

" am i enough " i asked

" yes your are dummy your more then enough you understand. if joey can't see that then that's on him , watch he'll come back and realize what he lost but it will be to late , trust me " she said hugging me as i nod . it's been like 10 months and tae hasn't came back , did he forget about us or something?

" it's been a while , what if something happened to him " i asked sophia

" should i check " she asked all though i really didn't want to do this tae is my best friend, if something were ever to happen to him i probably would die . i sigh and get up

" what are you doing " she asked

" i'm gonna go look for him " i said

" kels.. " she said

" look it's fine i'll go quick " i said

" plus your legs are probably killing since i made you guys run .. " i said as she chuckled

" your sure it's fine " she said as i nod lightly

" okay and don't forget about me " she said as i chuckled and start walking back . i was definitely not fine with this . i mean what just happened was something that happens in a movie scene and i definitely don't wanna talk or make any type of contact with anyone that saw that or was there . but tae is my best friend so i'm willing to do anything, after running like crazy i was finally here but tae wasn't outside.. which means i would need to go inside. ugh just do it for tae .. i sigh and get the guts to walk in with my head looking down trying to avoid any type of contact. all of the sudden i see people in a circle with their phones out , recording.. what's going on? i try making my way to see what's they were making a big scene for but me being the short and skinny person i can barely even make my way threw . i sigh and start pushing people

" excuse me " i said pushing them lightly and then i noticed something.. is that tae ... fighting

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