Left out. . . {bxbxb}

Chapter three

Andrew ^

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

.

.

.

I can't do this.

I've been dreading school to end since I got to first period. Derek is forcing me to go out with him and Nolan but I don't like Nolan in that way... well, in any way actually. I hear a beep coming from my phone and see it's Oliver texting me. Heyyy Andrew! You gon' come to our dorm for homework? I sigh and text back; Sorry. going on a date with Der and Nolan. I wait a couple of minutes but he doesn't respond. I stuff my phone in my pocket and groan. Why did I agree to this? Am I really going to let Derek control my life like this...? I love him but he's changed drastically... 

"H-Hi Andrew!"

I turn around slightly and see Nolan smiling up at me. "So Der-Der told me you're going to come with us on a date tonight," He said. Der-Der? What the crap type of nickname is that? I force a smile and look down at him. Fucking short dickhead. "Yep. I can't wait for tonight." Nolan looks at me with a stupid grin on his face. "I-I'm really glad... Derek seems really nice and fun to be around but I've kinda taken a liking to you a little teeny bit more..." He looks away blushing.

OH SHIT NO. He- he can't like me that way... I CAN'T LEAD HIM ON LIKE THIS. "I'm sorry Nolan... but I don't like you that way." Is what I've been screaming at my brain to make those words come out of my mouth. But instead; "W-wow... well, I should get going... I need to get dressed for tonight." Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. "B-Bye Andrew!" He leans up and kisses my cheek before running down the hall and presumably to his dorm. 

Shit.

**

I silently trudge to my dorm, hoping to get a text from Jackson or Oliver but nothing... I slowly push the door of my room open and see that Derek isn't back yet. I let out a sigh of relief before going over to my closet to pick something to wear. I don't even know where we're going so I just throw on one of my good T-shirts and jeans. I don't know what to do now so I call Derek. I waited for a few rings before he picks up. "Nolan!?" He asks excitedly. I assume he didn't check the called ID. "No, it's Andrew" I reply. "Oh." I hear the excitement quickly fade away. "What do you want..." 

"W-well I wanted to know where we're going tonight for the date" I hear Derek sigh over the phone. "It doesn't matter. I'm getting you when I'm good and ready." He says sternly. "O-okay..." He pauses for a moment then says, "Oh yeah, I talked to the principal and he's letting me switch to Nolans' dorm." I feel my heart start to ache. "Oh... why...?" 

"Because if Nolan is going to be my boyfriend- I mean... our boyfriend... I want to spend more time with him."

"B-but...what about me...?"

"What about you?"

"I- You're just leaving me like it's nothing..."

"Stop being so selfish Andrew." 

"Okay, bye Der... see you later." I hear him groan on the other end. "Baby wait-" I hang up and throw my phone across the room. "He still loves me..." I mumble that to myself for a long time before Derek comes back. "Andrew, baby, It's time to go," he gives me a sweet smile, offering out his hand. I look at it in disgust and stand up. He looks sad and I almost forget about him being a jerk. "Ready to go, baby?" He puts his hand on mine, squeezing it before capturing my lips in his. 

It doesn't feel as good as it used to. I push him away from me quickly. He looks so heartbroken so I give in. "I'm sorry Andrew, I just wanted to get to know Nolan better, I was completely inconsiderate of your feelings about me moving so how about after the date, we come back here and do something... special before I go..." He whispers in my ear. I look up at him but don't see a hint of sincerity in his eyes. I feel like he's lying about being sorry... "I- I forgive you... I'm sorry too. I over-reacted...you just want him to feel accepted with us..."

He looks happy. "Does that mean you like him and are willing to let him date us?" He asks. I slowly shake my head. "No. I'm sorry Der but I can never feel the same way about Nolan that you do." The happiness drains from his face and is filled with anger. He tries to cover it up but I can tell. I've only been his boyfriend for six years... "Well. Come on Andrew... let's go now." He stands up and walks out of our-... my dorm room. 

LORD, WHY CAN'T I JUST FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT NOLAN... IF I DID DER WOULD STILL LOVE ME LIKE HE USED TO... I feel tears well up in my eyes but blink them away. My grandmother always said to never cry in front of anyone, it shows weakness. She was the toughest person I knew... I blink back the rest of my tears and slowly make my way out of the room. "Took you long enough." Derek snapped. "I-I'm sorry..." He rolls his eyes and we walk out of the school to go meet Nolan in the front 

**

"ANDREW, DER-DER, HI! Nolan squeals, capturing us both in a hug. Derek and Nolan start kissing while I'm left standing next to them like an idiot. Nolan pulls away from Derek and looks at me. He doesn't kiss me but I don't mind. We aren't lovey-dovey with each other and I couldn't care less. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Derek glaring at me and gesturing at Nolan. "H-Hi Andrew!" Nolan smiles. 

His joyful attitude makes me sick. 

But I force a smile for Derek and say hi back. He stands higher and kisses me as well. Not a passionate kiss like when he gave Derek but a quick peck on the lips. I felt nothing. His kiss brings no spark, no joy, it makes me feel rather nauseated actually. He smiles up at me and I don't know what to say. I think he can tell that I'm at a loss for word because he says, "Sorry Andrew! I didn't want to make you feel too uncomfortable... so just tell me if I'm being too touchy okay?" Why does he have to CARE so much about me...

word count: 1173

I un-posted everything, then I reposted it all, now I'm back with another chapter! And yk, sorta crying over knowing my crush won't ever like me back but who cares :3