𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 | (𝐆)𝐈-𝐃𝐋𝐄

𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐀 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞 (𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲)

Note: This one’s been chilling in my drafts forever, lol. Enjoy!

—“I can’t believe you said yes to this.”

Soojin glares at her reflection, aggressively adjusting her wig for the fifth time. It’s platinum blonde, curled, and absolutely hideous.

“I didn’t say yes,” she continues. “I blinked once, and suddenly I’m wearing fishnets and pretending to be your wife.”

Shuhua is lounging on the hotel bed in a silk robe—because of course she is—applying lipstick with the smug precision of someone who thrives on chaos.

“You looked me in the eye and said, ‘I’m in if there’s cake.’ That’s a yes.”

“I thought you were inviting me to a wedding, not a heist disguised as one.”

“It is technically a wedding. Just not ours.”

It all started when Minnie sent them an encrypted text that read:

👰💍🧊 = 💰. URGENT. Bring heels.

Translation: There’s a priceless diamond hidden in a cake at a fake wedding reception hosted by a rich arms dealer, and she needs two women to go undercover as brides to retrieve it.

Obviously, Shuhua volunteered.
Less obviously, Soojin showed up.

“I only came to stop you from getting arrested,” Soojin mutters as they walk into the hotel ballroom, arms linked.

Shuhua squeezes her arm. “You wore white lace and eyeliner. You’re in this. Don’t fight it.”

They make quite the pair. Shuhua in an open-back tuxedo dress with rhinestone heels, Soojin in a silk gown that clings in very illegal ways. Both armed. Both smiling too sweet.

Everyone thinks they’re just two rich women celebrating their forbidden elopement.

No one suspects that they’re here to steal a cursed gem from the bottom layer of a triple-tiered wedding cake guarded by armed goons and one very suspicious poodle.

♡

“I should not be enjoying this,” Soojin mutters twenty minutes later, sipping champagne while keeping watch near the buffet.

Shuhua is trying to charm the caterer. Unfortunately, the caterer is very straight and very married.

“She likes men,” Soojin stage-whispers when Shuhua flirts too hard.

“She likes attention,” Shuhua replies with a wink.

“You’re impossible.”

“You’re in love with me.”

Soojin scoffs—but her ears turn pink.

♤

Operation: Cake Theft goes sideways exactly when Soojin predicted it would.

Which is to say, Shuhua trips the silent alarm while trying to use a fondue fork as a diamond-extraction tool.

“I told you not to touch anything!”

“I was improvising!”

They’re immediately chased by two guards and a confused magician.

“Split up!” Soojin yells.

“NO!” Shuhua grabs her hand. “Fake wives stay together!”

“You’re the worst fake wife I’ve ever had.”