More than Just Friends

Chapter 16

Rachel took a deep breath as she stared at herself in the hotel room mirror. She ran her hands along her yellow-green dress as she tried to calm down her thoughts.

Today was the day of Monica and Chandler's wedding and everyone couldn't be happier for the happy couple. Following tradition, the night before they had all gone to a hotel to stay in prior to the wedding, and now that it was the next morning, everyone was expected to get ready.

Today marked not only a special day for Monica and Chandler but a special day for her too. It just so happened to be that Monica wanted to get married exactly one year after she and Chandler had gotten engaged to make her day to remember even more memorable. What she didn't know, however, was that this day was one that Rachel remembered very clearly because if she and Ross were still together, this would also be their one-year anniversary.

Rachel sighed as she thought about the irony of it all. Just as it was years ago, she still has yet to spend her one-year anniversary with her partner. Even more ironic was that it was the same partner, same man, just different situations.

Speaking of her relationship with Ross, she had to admit that things have been better as of late, but they still weren't where she hoped they would be. Since their talk, she had decided to give him his space to think, and while she still remains patiently waiting it's been over two weeks and she still hasn't gotten a response. They still bump into one another from time to time and he'll pass her by with a simple nod or a 'hello', but aside from that they're relationship seems to have come to a stand-still. She was glad he was no longer ignoring her but at the same time, she wished things were back to how they used to be, where they could talk without any tension, laugh and share stories with each other. Deep down she still missed him, and especially now, she needed him more than ever.

Taking another deep breath, Rachel ran her eyes along her long bridesmaid dress. She had to admit, Monica had chosen her a perfect dress to wear. Its sleek look held her curvy form while showing off just a little bit of cleavage at the top. The beautiful flower pattern also reflected the elegant look of the dress, and along with her matching earrings and necklace and her hair tied back in a neat bun, her look for the wedding was looking particularly graceful. Too bad what she was feeling on the inside was nothing like how she was feeling on the outside.

On the inside, blind to anyone watching, was a complete mess of emotions. Fear, sadness, worry, anxiety; all of it just blended together uneasily to give her an awful feeling in the pit of her stomach. It had started just a day or two ago when she realised she had missed something very important, and after making sure this morning, she knew her greatest fear was true. She was not ready for this at all, not even in the slightest, and with the evidence stashed deep in her trash can, buried under a pile of toilet paper, she was going to force herself not to let anyone know about this. Not today, not yet.

Holding back tears, she slowly moved her hands from the top of her ribcage down her side, finally resting them on her stomach. With deep breaths, she stared at the image of herself in the mirror and wondered how she was ever going to be able to do this. How was she going to tell him, especially since they still haven't completely solved their own problems?

Suddenly a knock on her hotel room door cut through her thoughts as she heard Monica yelling from the other side.

"Hurry up Rachel! It's my wedding day! I'm getting married!"

Rachel looked back at herself and took one last deep breath out. She just had to get through today without anything happening, and tomorrow she could figure out what she was going to do. She just had to put aside her problems for now and at the very least be happy for her best friends' wedding day.

She can do this.

"Rachel!"

"I'm coming!" she yelled back, quickly flattening out her dress before walking over to the door.