I have been pregnant for five months now. Things are pretty good. Even though I'm made fun of even more than ever now. I have kinda learned not to let it bug me. I don't even pay attention anymore. Justin helps me a lot. I never would have thought he would care so much. Phone rings.
Justin
Hey babe do you need anything today?
Yeah can you get a burger and fries with a lot of Ranch. And a large coke and chocolate milkshake?
Justin
Is that it?
Yupp thanks
Justin
No problem:-)
My cravings have been going crazy. All I crave is meat, salt, and chocolate. But now I can't stand any type of candy. It makes me want to puke. I guess my baby doesn't like candy.
We have been debating on finding out the sex of my baby. I think we are going to but I'm not sure what Justin wants. I will ask when he comes home with my food. Until then I go downstairs to find out what everyone else is doing.
"Hey sweety do you want something to eat?" My mom asked.
"No I'm okay.. Justin is bringing me some food."
"Oh that's good. He has been so helpful."
"I know he has been. I need his help to make the decision about finding out the gender though. He hasn't been a damn help with that."
"I understand Ashley but you are the mother so you can make the decision without his approval."
"I know but I want his approval."
Knocks.
"I got it."
I opened the door and Justin had a bunch of bags and 6 milkshakes with 2 cokes.
"Damn I didn't ask for this much food."
I kissed him.
"I know but I decided I should get your family some food too."
"Well that was very kind of you Justin." Mom jumped in.
Justin smiled.
"Justin can I talk to you."
"Yeah sure."
"I'm going to grab my food you go up in my room."
"No you go up in your room and I will grab your food."
"Okay."
I walked upstairs. I swear everyday it gets harder and harder to get up those stairs. Ugh. I waited in my room on my bed for Justin. I finally heard him walking up the stairs. He opened the door and sat on my bed and started laying out all the food.
"So what's on your mind Ashley?"
"Well I want to know something that you don't."
"Is this about the gender of the baby?"
"Yes."
"I'm gonna say if you want to we can. In fact I have a surprise."
"What is it?"
"I got you an ultrasound appointment to find out the gender because I knew you wanted to know so bad."
"Really?!!!"
"We go tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?! Oh my gosh I'm so excited!!"
I hugged him and kissed him.
We started eating and even though I ate a big ass meal I'm still not fully satisfied, but whatever.
Justin looked like he had something on his mind.
"Babe... Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine."
"No your not."
"Your right."
"What's wrong."
"I have just been thinking lately.. I'm going to be a father. Like this is the real thing. I don't know how great I will be. This baby's whole life is depending on you and I. I don't know if I can handle it."
"Your not leaving me are you? Because you don't understand that leaving me will jack up the baby's life even more than its life will already be jacked up. Having a 15 year old mother. And a 17 year old dad that left. He or she will never feel loved. I know how that feels and I will not let that happen. So if you are going to leave you better fucking do it now. I will not have my son or daughter feel unloved from a guy that was too scared to handle his problems. Leave now if you are going to leave. I don't want to fucking see you if your going to leave."
"Ashley I'm sorry."
He grabbed his jacket and walked out of my room. I screamed and cried. I feel like there was hole ripped in my chest. I have never felt this feeling before. I can't breathe. I scream and cry. I hear something from downstairs over all my crying.
"Your leaving?! Are you leaving your baby? And your girlfriend! HOW COULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT TO HER YOU DICK! LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK! SHE DOESN'T NEED SOMEONE LIKE YOU IN HER LIFE THAT WILL JUST LEAVE!" It was Matt..
Quiet little Matt was yelling at my 17 year old boyfriend.
I screamed and cried out of anger and because now my son or daughter will have to live without a caring father. This hurts so bad. I need to sleep. I can't sleep tonight I'm so hurt. I need him. I love him. How could he leave me. I love him so much. He's a dick. But I need him. The baby needs him. Phone rings.
Justin
I'm sorry babe. I will be back.
No don't even fucking bother. And do not even think it is okay to call me babe. You can not fucking call me babe anymore. You don't realize you are not just leaving me your leaving your child that is depending on you to be there for it when it is hurt, or has a bad dream, who will be there besides me. What about when it asks why all of its friends have dads but he\she doesn't. What will I say? Just fucking think for once.
Sent.
I hope he thinks about what the fuck he is actually doing. I thought he was different. He is just like every other guy. How could he do this. I can't breathe. I put my hands on my stomach.
"I will never let you go baby. Your mine. I love you."
