why is it you?

chapter 18: the act of love.

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Killua's pov:

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"... When I first met you and a little after that... That was when I first met you and fell in love with you. Well not right away. But it was soon after... That I fell in love with you...  I started to simp for you... And I simped for you hard... " He looked at him and blushed a little. He knew that he couldn't see him but still it was embarrassing none of the less.

"So... When you first met me... And so on... That's when you fell for me...? I had no idea we were the same... Wow... " Wait... Did gon just say that they were the same!? Did that mean that he'd had a crush on him as long as he had had one on him??

Why didn't he say anything then!? He would've totally liked him back, and gone out with him. Anddddd he probably would've done... A few things. But hey!! Could you blame him? He loved gon and his strong love for him made him want to do things.

"Gon... Did you just say that you loved me as long as I've loved you? Are you kidding me?? This would've been nice to know about a year ago!!" He threw his hands up in the air and sighed at a confused(and a little hurt). That's not what he wanted. He didn't want to hurt him much more than he already did.

"Well I'm sorry ok!! I-i didn't know really... And I kinda didn't want to assume alright!!" He couldn't show him his glaring face but he knew that it was there. Well yeah he had to admit that was his reason as well. And it was a chicken one... More like he was afraid. Afraid of being rejected...

By  the one he loved the most. He honestly didn't think that he could go through the pain of that. Nor did he ever want to. He was fine just where he was thank you very much!! He wanted it to stay that way forever. And possibly never stop. But ofc as we all knew there was no such thing as forever in this world.

But how his love could go on forever? He never understood that, and wouldn't waste valuable brain cells sitting up at night thinking about how that process worked. He would focus on the now. Wait wasn't that what he was supposed to be doing instead of talking to himself like an idiot? He would focus on the male in front of him. The love of his life.

"It's ok gon I didn't really mean it the way it sounded anyways. Now are you sure that you want to Still go through with this? It's going to hurt a lot and I don't really want that to happen to you, so it's totally fine if we don't do what I planned-" He cut him off by wraping his arms around the larger male. He looked down at him to see what his reaction was about this whole situation.

Gon was holding unto his waist tightly and bringing his face to look up at his face. It was a pure look of determination. He was sure of it. And he just knew what gon was going to say next which made his heart throb severely. "Killua why do you ask? Don't you already know my answer is yes a million times yes? I don't care if it hurts kill!! As long as you're the one to do it!!"

He was pretty much sold after that. Hearing thoes words come out of his lovers mouth was all just to much. He seriously almost cried. Although he didn't beacuse he chose to hold back his tears like a man. We all know that men don't cry or else it would show a weakness. Well at least he was taught that, so he went by it. It seamed pretty beleviable to him.

It did make sense after all. Men were supposed to be the tough strong ones, (not saying that girls can't be no offense) and girls the weak(not all the time but some of the times) emotional ones. That's why he took over as the man in the relationship. Gon just acted more like the girl than he did.

Killua fit the part as a girl, but gon slayed that part. See that's why he left all the emotional girl crap to gon. He could handle it. Break a leg. Ok not literally but you know what I mean. Gon cocked his head to the side as if he was waiting on something.

And he had every right to. I totally forgot my "daily task" Right then so caught up in other thoughts. But I would totally do it. Don't worry I would never forget to do this. Now the other stuff... Definitely. He smiled and prodded his hip with his tongue as if to tell him that he'd not forgotten about him. And he hadn't.

He purred like a cat as gon Wimpered. "Oh don't worry gon I haven't forgotten about you~i would never forget about you~espically not like this~ I want to fulfill your desire so let me~" He proded at his entrance again and looked at him remembering that he forgot to ask something important.

"But are you ready gon? Im sorry for not asking you Elarier. I wasn't in the right mind and I'm not to sure that I still am... To be honest. I'll try to go as slowly as possible if that makes you feel any better? I'm sorry ahead of time. Don't say I didn't warn you." He had to ask that before he did anything to the male. It was common curtsey. Or was he getting that mixed up with something else?

Anyways he seriously needed to get back on tract. He was so off tract right now. He sighed and decided to give him one last head away. "Ok gon I'm going to put it inside you now. This is your last warning." He grabbed his hips and shoved into him as lightly as he could.

Gon screamed out and scratched unto his back with his surprisingly long finger nails. He didn't mind it though. He's been through worse and honestly gon was in pain. He wasn't. All he felt was pleasure coursing through his lithe body. It felt fucking awesome. Words could not describe.

But judging by gons reaction he wasn't quite ready to feel the same. The only problem was that in the moment he had kinda forgetten to move slowly. He stopped and let gon catch his breath for a moment. And really just adjust to the pain.

"Oops. Gon I'm very sorry for not being careful and slow as I promised. I'll make it up to you I promise just let me-" He got cut off with a beautiful sound coming from the male underneath him. Wow~that was a very sexy sound that came out of him. He wanted to hear it come out of him even more.

"A-agh... I-its ok killua...!! K-keep going I'm fine...!!" He held unto the taller males back tighter and moaned out his name. Killua took this as an invitation and upon hearing those words he immediately went faster. But not to fast beacuse he knew that gon wouldn't be able to handle all of that. He grunted with every shove and push he gave. And gon squrimed loving it.

He was living for it as well. With every movement he gave the smaller male he would moan and cry out his name. He smiled and groaned out his name again. He was getting dangerously close to his release. And fuck that because he didn't want it to end yet. He would hold it for as long as possible.

He shoved into him again and moved inside him till he could no longer hold it. It was time. He felt the sensation rise up in his stomach all the way to his chest and he groaned again as the white sticky liquid shot out of his  in a great amount. He was finished and exhausted.

Gon screamed and panted heavily. He pulled out and layed down besides gon smiling rubbing his head softly as he was falling asleep.

"Sweet dreams my gon. I'll be here when you wake to fill your head with memories... I love you.."