Love in Bangketa

40

That event changed my whole life. It changed my attitude. It changed my mindset. It changed my relationship with my parents.

I had been feeling lonely for so long, but now that they were already here, completed my whole soul. Though, hindi naman nagkabalikan totally si Mommy at Daddy, but I am now much happier to get to see my little sister.

"She exactly looks like you when you were still a baby," Mommy smiled as she played with Queenie's fingers. My little sister's name's as bad as mine. Her name's Queenie Jasen. Ewan ko kung saan nakukuha ni Mommy ang mga pangalan namin.

I smiled. "Yeah... It feels weird," I whispered and observed her small features. She exactly looks like me nga. She's such an angel. She's too beautiful.

"I remember when I used to sing you lullabies to make you sleep,"

"I remember that, too, Mom. Hindi rin naman kasi ako makatulog kung hindi mo ako kakantahan," I gave her a small smile.

She caressed Queenie's fragile head. "I'm sorry that I stopped singing to you when you reached 7,"

My mom and dad started to fight when I was 7. Laging pumupunta si Mommy pauwi kina Lola para lang doon magpalipas ng ilang linggo. I would always wait for her to come home, to sing for me again, to comb my hair with her fingers as I sleep.

But, ever since na nakasanayan na nilang dalawa na mag away, doon na rin ako hindi nakakatulog nang maayos. Every night, magkakaroon ako ng nightmares. Na nag-iisa lang ako at wala ang parents ko sa tabi ko. It's damn scary.

"It's okay, mom. They're all... in the past now. We can still start a new one... right?"

"Of course, anak. This time... I will do my best to be a mom to you. Just... let me do it,"

Mom and I talked about other things. Nakuwento ko na rin sa kaniya ang about kay Max. Talking with Mom about these kinds of things... parang sa loob ng ilang taon, wala akong dinalang sama ng loob sa mga magulang ko.

Mom told me that it's okay if I already have a boyfriend. Hindi na rin naman siya nagulat that I had one. Malaki na raw ako. I must not be caged in restrictions anymore, because even I, alone, can already make decisions by myself.

"Did you already tell your Dad about this?"

I bit my lower lip. "Not yet, Mommy. Pero, feel ko... nagdududa siya. Monthly kaya akong pumupunta kina Tito Gerard just to visit Max,"

She nodded. "Kilala ko pa rin si Ricardo. Things like that... he can notice it. He's just... waiting for you to tell him,"

"Do you think he will get mad at me?"

"I don't think so, anak. If you will explain that to him... he will understand,"

Later that day, I called Max. Just the usual, nagkuwentuhan kaming dalawa. I told him about my stories na kinuwento ko kay Mommy.

"Love..."

"Hmm?"

"I already told Mommy about us," I whispered.

"H-Ha? Totoo?" He seemed to look shocked. I wanted to laugh.

"Yes," I managed my voice to sound serious, pero kaunti nalang siguro, bibigay na rin ako sa pagtawa.

Tumayo na siya mula sa pagkakahiga. "Anong sabi niya? Pinagalitan ka ba? Nagalit ba siya sa'yo? Hindi ba siya approve?"

I rolled my eyes. "Mas marami ka pang tanong sa professor namin. Isa-isa lang!" We both laughed.

"Pero... seryoso? A-Anong... anong sabi niya?"

"She told me that it's okay na magkaroon ako ng boyfriend. Perhaps, malaki na rin ako. Kaya ko nang gumawa ng mga desisyon na tingin kong tama,"

"Isa ba ako sa mga naging tama mong desisyon?" He asked.

I smiled sweetly. "More than a rightful law,"

"Shet. Kilig ako ro'n!" He giggled like a kid. Napailing na lang ako. "Daddy mo na lang... legal na tayo,"

"I will tell Daddy as soon as possible, love. Then, we will be free!" I acted like a kid.

"Haaaay. Namimiss na kita. Alam ko... nagsasawa ka na lagi mong naririnig sa'kin na miss na miss na kita, pero hindi ko kasi mapigilan," Tumawa siya.

Kakakita nga lang naming dalawa, pero mas gusto ko rin siya makita ngayon. I wanted to hug him and let myself be enveloped with his warm arms.

"One day, once I already graduated, or... siguro mid-college days ko, makakapagkita na tayo lagi,"

"Tiis-tiis muna tayo ng ganito, mahal," Tumawa siyang muli. "Nga pala... kamusta na yung schoolwork mo?"

"So far... okay naman na. I finished all our performance tasks that are needed to be passed this week. Gusto ko lang na mas magkaroon pa ako ng time na makipag-usap sa'yo,"

"Ang sweet mo ngayon, mahal. Anong nakain mo?"

"Damn you! Lagi naman akong sweet," I defended myself. Ngayon lang ba talaga ako naging sweet sa kaniya? No kaya.

"Hmm... hindi halata," He grinned.

"Lagi kaya kitang nilalam--" Naputol ang sasabihin ko because my phone ringed. Nang buksan ko 'to, bumungad ang pangalan ni Yuan sa'kin.

Ano na namang kailangan ng punyetang 'to? Pinatay ko ang call, pero tumawag pa rin siya nang ilang beses.

"Love... wait up. May kakausapin lang ako,"

"Si... Yuan ba 'yan?" He asked.

I sighed. "Yes. Baka may nakalimutan na naman akong gawin or i-check at baka ma-orient niya ako,"

He smiled a little. "Okay, mahal. Take your time po," I ended our call para lang masagot si Yuan.

"The fuck you want?"

"Bakit ba ang sungit-sungit mo lagi? Wala akong ginagawa sa'yo!"

"Kasi nakakairita ka. Ano bang kailangan mo, gabing-gabi na?!" I irritatedly asked him.

"Just wonderin' watcha doin'. Alam kong tapos ka na sa mga schoolwork mo, then nakita lang kitang naka online sa chatlist ko,"

"And so? Ano bang pakialam mo kung may iba pa akong ginagawa, Yuan?"

I heard him sigh. "Wala nga! Nangamusta lang! Bawal mangamusta sa friend?"

"Hindi tayo friends! Bye, I'm gonna end this call no--"

"Wait, wait, wait!"

"Ano nga?!"

"I hope that you wouldn't get this question as a weird one. Just really... I wanna ask you this. This has been bothering me for so long,"

"Kung itatanong mo ay yung walang sense, might just as well drop this phone call, Yuan,"

But, after a second of silence, wala siyang sinabi. I was about to end the call when he spoke.

"Do you already have a boyfriend, Xynnah?"