Chapter 9

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"Hmm?" I heard Briley answer.

"Briley, Kian is here. I saw him he's here!"

"What?" She asked. I guess my words were more slurs.

"KI-UHN iss here" I tried hard to enunciate my words, but she just laughed.

"What is she on?" She joked.

"I accidentally... uh... gave her spice" Nate mumbled looking to the ground.

"You gave her spice?!" She laughed again, which made me laugh.

"Yeah, I didn't know. It was am edible so I thought it was just pot."

"Anywayyyyzzzzz" I began. "Kian is here!"

"Do you want to leave?" Sammy asked.

"No, but will you pretend to be my boyfriend?" She asked in return. She grabbed his hand then and we all walked back inside.

"Attention- everyone!" I hiccuped. "Sammy and Briley are now a thing! Brimey! Brimey! Brimey!" I began chanting their ship name and soon everyone was. Once they kissed everyone cheered.

I looked at -now clothed- Kain in the eyes. He glared back and left, slamming the door.

"Okay cupid" Nate said helping me off the counter top and setting me on the floor. "Now it's our turn" he leaned in and kissed me, his tongue finding every inch of my mouth.

I never felt something like that. Was it the alcohol or the new found spice? Or was it Nate as opposed to Gilinsky who never meant anything when our tongues intertwined and our bodies combined. I couldn't tell, but this was a feeling I definitely liked.

"Nate?" I asked pulling away from the kiss.

"Hm?" He replied.

"Am I a bad person?"

"What? Of course not"

"I just feel really guilty right now, and I don't know why."

"Come with me" he led me upstairs and into a bedroom.

"Nate, I don't wanna-"

"No" he cut me off and led me to another door. He opened it and I felt the cool air immediately. He stepped out onto the porch and I followed him.

"Tell me what's on your mind" he said sitting on the wooden porch swing. I took a seat next to him and felt a lump in my throat.

"I feel bad" I bit my tongue fighting tears.

"Why?" He asked.

"Gilinsky" I replied before even realizing what I had said.

"Why would you feel bad about that?" He asked putting his hand on my thigh.

"Because I feel like a total slut for what I did with him. When you kissed me that's when I realized the relationship that me and him had was not normal."

"Don't worry about it. I know alot of girls that have done worse." He consoled.

"No, you don't understand. We did more than that. Worse than that." I began. "We didn't just have sex after his parties. We had sex every night. Even days. We'd skip school and go into abandoned houses. If we couldn't figure something out, we'd Skype. And I thought it was safe. I thought it was harmless. But that's not how it was. He had a room full of people, all watching, out of the camera view. I didn't know" I leaned into his body and let the tears burn my skin. He didn't say anything, just held me, rubbed my arm with his thumb, let me cry it out.

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