Bunch of TMF Oneshots

Partners In Crime

Milliot Oneshot

Jeff POV

Everyone has family issues, whether it's as small as getting into fights with your sibling or as big as your parents cheating.

Me? I guess I'm that rare case where my family has no issues with each other, but have a big problem with the rest of the world.

I'm an only child, and a mistake. I'm only alive and here today because of one fateful, drunken night. At first, my parents ignored me, having to deal with the bodies in the basement. But I paid careful attention to their work, and they soon realized that I could be a great asset to them.

In the family business, we each have an important job. My mom loves the action, so she's usually out on the front lines, murdering the victim. My dad loves poetry and symbolism and emotions, so after the body is taken away, he leaves behind a little something for whoever finds the crime scene first. My job is less exciting, but extremely important. I take care of all the technical stuff, like making sure we're never found out by the cops and finding good victims. I also plan out everything, from where we put the body to how we kill the victim. It's a lot of pressure, to be honest, but the end result is very rewarding.

Almost every time we finished off a victim, my dad would tell me the story of how he and my mother met. It was when they were both in high school. "Your mom was a very different person back then," he would say. "But she was still as violent as ever." She was apparently in a club, with 5 close friends. I always wondered why we had never killed them. I guess she was just attached to them.

"I was walking by the music room one day when I heard a fight. I looked through the small window and was immediately captivated by the fiery-looking girl I saw, cursing the living daylights out of a purple-haired boy," he would pause here and smile to himself. "At first I thought, 'Why would such a cool and awesome person like her ever notice a simple and uninteresting garden boy like me?' Turns out, she had fallen for me long before I first noticed her." Usually around this point my mom would finish cleaning all the blood off of her and come out wrapped in a towel. I would get the hint and walk out of the room, leaving my parents alone to do whatever they did. I would go to my room and lock myself in, just faintly hearing my parents' insane and intoxicated laughter from across the hall. I would shut my eyes and try to get some sleep with my parents making love in the room next to mine.

The next morning would usually consist of a small breakfast made by me; my parents would be too hungover to get out of bed for a couple of hours. The day would mainly be resting and tying up any loose ends. We would all gather in the living room and watch the news. The man on the screen would announce that 'The Pink-Haired Trio has struck again!' We didn't like that name. It gave our identities away too much. But we did like the picture that showed up. It was three silhouettes; one was holding a knife, another had her hand on her hip and was holding a gun up, and a smaller figure with glasses was typing on a computer. There were some errors in the picture, like how my dad had glasses as well as me, and how my mom's hair was much shorter than they made it out to be. But it was good that they didn't know us that well.

Over dinner they would tell me the story of how they found out they loved each other. My mom had been beating up one girl for some unknown reason. She had been sent to the principal's office, and the girl had been sent to the hospital. The girl was severely hurt, and she never fully recovered. Mom had been into music back then, and she was to compete in a band competition with her friends. However, she wasn't allowed to compete after hospitalizing the girl. Mom had gotten into such a rage that she wanted to kill the girl. "No one would miss the blonde snake anyways. She was a complete jerk," my mom justified. She had stormed out and ended up in the garden. It hit her then that she had let her friends down. She had sat on a bench and broken down. Dad found her and asked her why she was crying. She explained the whole situation to him, and his inner yandere was activated. He didn't want to see her so down like this. That girl was the cause of most of her pain. "I'm gonna kill that girl," they had both threatened simultaneously. They were both already plotting how they would do it. They paid no mind to the other, and the next day they both went to the hospital, prepared to kill the snake. Mom got there first and stabbed her, getting blood all over her. Dad came in a moment later, and was surprised to see the pink-haired girl covered with blood with a crazed expression on her face. She noticed him and her face fell. "E-Elliot? I swear, I killed her for a good reason. No one will miss her!" she had started to tear up. Dad had dropped the knife he was holding, and that's when Mom realized that he was coming to kill the girl as well. She stared at the knife on the floor with wide eyes. Dad then quickly walked over to her and took her mess of a face into his hands. "Milly," he whispered, "I love you."

"And we kissed," Mom finished. She laughed lightly, "We were so sloppy when we killed the snake back then. I can see billions of mistakes we made." Dad nodded, "Yeah, we left fingerprints everywhere. It's a surprise they didn't identify us." I shook my head, "And you picked a bad target. You had a score to settle with her, and you said that no one would miss her. If you wanted to make a commotion, then you should have picked someone that everyone loved-"

"Oh, we did," my dad interrupted, "Everyone loved childish little Milly. But after that day, the Milly everyone knew and loved was gone, replaced by a killer queen." Mom laughed at the last part, "'Killer Queen', huh? You know I love a good rock reference."

"I mean, we are one of the most wanted crime trios in the world. You could call us killer royalty," I added.

"Jeff has a point. Heh, no more 'Pink-haired Trio' anymore. Next kill, we leave behind a little something with our new name," Dad picked up a knife and held it out to the middle of the table, "Killer Royalty."

Mom grabbed a knife as well and twirled it around before slamming it next to Dad's, "Killer Royalty. I like it. It has a nice ring to it."

They both looked at me expectantly. I slowly lifted the knife next to me and reached over the table, touching the tip of it to my parents' knives. I looked up at their crazed faces. They deserved to be in an insane asylum. People like them didn't deserve life if all they did with it was take away others. Then again, they made life interesting.

Everyone has family issues. Me? Heh, I guess you could say that my family has the biggest issue out of them all.

A/N: Hahaha, grammar decided to up and leave me today. This was just a random idea that popped into my head. So, Jeff is Milly and Elliot's accident kid, their first victim was Zoey, these are just in case you couldn't tell. (You see what I mean about the grammar?) And yes, I know that killing is kinda intense, but with the whole Elliot's a yandere thing and Milly being violent, I decided why not combine the two and bam, you have the most wanted crime trio in Alabama.