Soul's Shadow (Doctor Who - SI)

Part IV (VI)

"What's wrong with you?" the Doctor's voice asked softly.

Only then did I realize he was still in the canteen with me. Everyone else had already left. Silence laying itself upon the room like a heavy blanket, his question staying unanswered. I remembered how he had left, the previous evening, just like that, as if I was none of his business. Then, I hadn't thought much about it, but now that I had seen how he treated everyone else...

"You don't like me," I concluded quietly, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"What?! Why would you think that?" the Doctor defended himself. He was seated at the same table, but a few chairs away, letting it bob up and down. Now he dropped all legs to the ground.

"I'm the only one you're barely talking to, you keep avoiding me, just run off... It's... I don't know. Let's just say, I can sense that it's true."

Which wasn't wrong. During my life I had developed quite the sense for when people didn't want to have me near them.

The Doctor gnawed on his bottom lip for a moment, then rubbed a hand over his face. "Nooo, it's not that, really not," he babbled. "Besides, I'm not running off, right now, am I?" He tried one of his cheeky smiles, but failed at it. "I... just barely know you."

"You know none of the crew, here, and treat every single one a lot friendlier."

"Oi! That's not tr-"

"Oh, stop it!" I let out, a rare anger bubbling up inside of me. "I can't stand it when people try to be polite. Just tell me and it's okay."

I sent him a dark scowl, wishing I could let him feel how annoyed I was. Why do people always believe, it's better to pretend to be kind, when they actually don't want to have to do anything with another person?

"Lucy... it's complicated," he tried again. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, what elicited a tired sigh from him. "See, I sometimes take humans with me. To travel and see the stars..."

"What's wrong with me, then?" I grumbled. "Each time we met, you tried to get rid of me as fast as possible."

"That's only because I have all hands full with the Master!" His hands shot up defensively. "I really don't want him to harm anyone. And that's the full truth."

"Still... That's only one part of the reason, isn't it?"

The Doctor let his hands fall into his lap and his face took on a guilty expression. "Well, it doesn't matter much, now. Even if we weren't stuck, I wouldn't leave you on your own, as long as you have no place to go. That'd hardly be fair." He tried a smile again, but that one also wasn't a success, bringing forth something that was more akin to a grimace.

I dropped my head, shaking it lightly as I sighed out more frustration. This wasn't going anywhere. He kept avoiding a real answer. There were so many things I wanted – needed – to know, but now I wasn't much eager to ask them.

"Alright..." I raised my head again and looked him in the eyes. It felt uncomfortable, but for different reasons than usually. Still, I kept my gaze locked with his, knowing that people could find such a behaviour highly unnerving. The Doctor, albeit alien, seemed to have the same reaction. "I too barely know anything about you. I'll keep out of your way from now on."

"Wha'... hey, that wasn't... Lucy, wait!"

I didn't. I didn't want to hear any more excuses and explanations that explained nothing at all. I didn't want to stay in his presence any longer, knowing I wasn't welcomed anyway.

The good mood from before was now entirely gone as I realized how damn lonely I still was. Among people, but still entirely on my own. None of them cared, no one truly wanted to have me here. It was the same as always.