Soul's Shadow (Doctor Who - SI)

Deleted Scene - Bad jokes

A/N: So, this is what would have actually happened if it were truly me hanging on that cable, about to fall into an uncertain death...
Please don't take this too serious xDDDDDD

As the cable slid down the pitch black maw I did not feel the urge to talk, all words had left me, were stuck in my head, swirling, repeating, dancing, almost making me sick.

The com crackled to life. "You alright, down there?" the Master asked. "Tell me when you dropped dead. I hate doing work for nothing."

It took me a few seconds to get it. I pushed the button on my com. "Yeah, I'll make sure to float back up and haunt you."

There was a silly chuckle on the Master's end, untying the knot in my chest. Then my descent stopped. The com sprang to life once again.

"End of the line," the Master announced. "Literally."

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "And why again am I not allowed to make puns?"

"Yours are bad," came the mocking answer.

"Oi!"

I chuckled, but then fell silent. Neither of us spoke a word for almost a minute. What was there to talk anyway? A glance at the oxygen display told me there was no time to get back up and I had no way of telling how far down the pit would still reach. Damit...

Once again I held the communicator to my helmet. "I could jump."

"Wanna try out all methods until one works?" the Master bantered back. "You're even worse at dying than I am. And believe me, I survived things..."

I snorted. Somehow this whole situation was too far away from really to comprehend. Sure, I literally hung in the middle of it, but my mind simply wouldn't catch up. This was so different from the night at the beach.

The number on the display kept decreasing.

"I've got... roughly five minutes of oxygen left," I told, even though he must know. We had the same tanks after all.

I picked up a knife that was clipped to the space suit and started to cut my makeshift hold, when the Master spoke again. "Are you?"

"What?"

"Jumping."

I continued cutting. "Yep. Better than suffocating... I guess."

"Well, thanks for leaving that to me." He chuckled, but I could hear that his voice was a little strained. "So... any last words?"

"Uh... pheeew.... I don't know. I probably should say something meaningful, shouldn't I?"

"Guess so."

"What about you?"

Silence. The com crackled a few times, as if he wanted to say something, but nothing ever came. The hold was severed. All I had to do now was to click open the clip. Three minutes left... Last words no one would ever hear... no one who would survive to tell the tale. Somewhat hesitantly I pressed the button.

"I'm ready," I mumbled. "Stupid last words, I know..." I took a deep breath and a smile tugged my lips upwards. "Well then... Live long and prosper"

I heard a groan through the com. "That's from Star Trek!"

I couldn't help the laugh. "It's epic, okay! And hey! You know Star Trek?"

"Ugh! Shut up and jump already, you're going on my nerves. And don't you dare dying, you hear me?"

I snorted. "Not gonna happen. You just ruined my epic last words. I'll have to kick your butt for that."

A soft chuckle crackled through the com as I unfastened the clip, barely holding onto it.

"Alright... See you," I mumbled. And then couldn't help, but add, "Praise the sun!"

A/N: The last one is from the videogame Dark Souls. Those would be the most epic last words of all time...