Lastly (L.T.)

Chapter 33

This chapter was really fucking hard to write, not going to lie. Plus I had college stuff on top of it, so sorry this took so long, but I'm back now.

Let's resume.

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He chuckled darkly when he felt me freeze and continued to grind his hips in slow agonizing motions, watching my shocked sleepy eyes peer up at him. His eyes were half lidded as he moved slowly, letting himself get lost in the pleasure of his motions.

He didn't give me a chance to speak before he ducked his face down, capturing my lips in a slow savory kiss that immediately turned to a more heated one. His scalding lips caressed mine, folding over them and I let him lead the motions, loving the control he had. I ran my hands over the taunt muscles twisting over his warm back while he brushed his tongue against my bottom lip, asking for permission which I gladly gave, letting him slip his tongue into my mouth where it tangled with my own.

Oh fuck.

I had never had feelings for anyone before. I didn't even know how to describe what I felt other than what it was. Feelings.

I had feelings for him.

I had been half asleep only moments before, but now I was wide awake. I pressed myself back against him as he circled his hips, hitting all the right places. A careless moan fell from my mouth as I could feel a swirl of pleasure pooling inside me.

I was expecting him to want to go further, but instead he pulled his hips back with a low distressed noise from having to stop.

I was immediately confused again, he had been at sixty miles per hour only seconds before, and now we had come to a screeching halt.

"Lou?" I questioned softly, placing my hands on his face and running my thumbs over his cheeks. He fluttered his eyelids shut at the contact, just letting me hold him.

"Not yet." He breathed lightly.

I nodded, I didn't know why he wanted to stop, we had already thrown his professionalism excuse out the window.

"Why do you always stop?" I couldn't help but ask.

He stayed silent for a moment, his wild blue eyes flicking between my own.

"I don't want to just fuck you, Kess." He paused again, "I don't want this to be a pointless hookup because it doesn't feel like one."

Was he saying what I thought he was saying? Did he feel the same way?

"What do you mean? Like feelings?" I asked awkwardly, ducking my head down to toy with the drawstrings of his sweatpants.

He sighed, throwing his head back in frustration.

"Fuck, I don't know, it just feels wrong to do this and just pretend like it doesn't mean something, because at this point I think we both know it does."

"So what does it mean?" I asked him quietly.

"I don't know." He responded, rolling off the bed and away from me.

I didn't bother to look where he was going. I knew he was leaving, and my thought was confirmed when I heard the bedroom door click behind him.

I immediately felt empty as soon as the door shut. It was the feeling you get when you walk out of a warm bright room into a winter's night. Everything felt dark and cold all of as sudden and all I wanted was for him to walk back into the room.

I laid on the bed in silence, mulling over his words.

He hadn't specifically said that he had feelings for me, but he had acknowledged that there was something going on between us. Some form of chemistry that we couldn't control. And it was important enough that he didn't want to just fuck and pretend like nothing had happened.