October 9th: Pool of Blood

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Is it that difficult to feel normal, because it seems like only minutes ago, I was 5, and I felt normal, but recently, I've felt off, like there's

something wrong with me? I am just so angry and tired all the time. I always feel stressed out and nervous. I'm always sweating and shivering. I feel like I'm sick, but at the same time, I'm not. It's an internal feeling. I'm perfectly healthy, I'm so irritated and I feel horrible. I feel like nothing. I feel so, I don't even know how to explain it. I'm angry and tired, and I want this to end. I want to feel normal.
One night, I was lying down and I just felt off. It was like I was sleeping, but conscious at the same time. It was all very quiet and tranquil, like most nights. I was just messing around in my head, when all of a sudden, I felt wet. I felt like I was floating, and I didn't know where.

My eyes were closed, so you could say that I was just dreaming, but I felt this liquid substance. I could feel the water, or whatever it was. I started to feel this pressure on my body as if something was pushing me down. I wanted to leave. I wanted to feel like I was safe, but I was drowning. I was drowning. But where? Last time I checked I was in my bed. Sleeping. I wanted to wake up. I needed to wake up. Why wasn't I waking up? And then I did. I opened my eyes, and I was drowning. I stood up, expecting to be met with water, but instead, I was met with blood. Ounces and ounces of blood, in one pool, and I was floating in it. I was freaking out. I was too shocked to scream. I was too frightened to say anything. I didn't know if I was dying. All I knew was that my

clothes were getting stained by blood, and some of it had gotten into my mouth.
"It's not yours", a man said. I was surprised to see him.
"What?", I asked.
"It's not your blood", he said, "You're alive and well".
Part of me was relieved, though the other was deeply troubled.
"Then whose blood is it?", I asked.
"That's our business", he said.
"What the hell am I doing here?", I asked. "Beats me", he said, "You are free to leave".

I called a taxi and went home.
That's the scariest thing that's ever happened to me.
There was no death.
No destruction.
Just, fear and confusion.

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