The lights were switched off and the door locked. He had not come back home. I tried calling him multiple times in the car only for the call to go to voice mail every single time. I dejectedly went to my own apartment. Silence greeting me at the door like it always did. I lay on my bed as I type an apology to Jinae, wanting to explain my actions, hesitating but hitting 'send' anyway. I cry myself to sleep, waking up in the middle of the night because of loud banging at my door. I groggily get up to check the time – 2:19 a.m.
A crying Jinae falls into my arms as soon as I open the door and my eyes widen, panic immediately settling into my bones. I asked her what was wrong but I got no response except for even louder sobs. Worried, I drag her to the couch, sitting her down and getting her a glass of water, helping her calm down so she can say what happened to her. I sit down beside her, rubbing her back as more tears pour out of her eyes and I feel anger burning in my veins ready to punch whoever caused her to cry.
"Y-you wanna punch whoever made me cry, huh?" I hadn't realised I said that out loud but I nod, hoping she will tell me why she was crying.
Instead my head is jerked to the side, cheek stinging due to the slap. She is shaking her right hand too, clutching it to her chest with her left.
"It won't hurt if you hit yourself, scientifically proven. So there you go. Happy now? I slapped whoever made me cry" she says, her voice angry but nasal because of the crying, shoulders shaking from her hiccups and occasional sobs as she tries to calm down.
"I-I'm sorry. Do you want to punch me more?"
"Hell yes! I do. Do you know how much you hurt me?! I seriously thought our relation meant nothing to you"
"No no no, please no. Don't say that. It means the world to me. I was just really angry and I promise I didn't mean anything I said. I'm so sorry. Wait I'll lie down on the ground so you can kick me. I think your hand is aching after that hit, punching me will only hurt you more" and I lie down on the floor, bracing myself for the well-deserved hit, not giving her a chance to speak.
She lays down beside me, facing the ceiling.
"Why are you so sweet, Jimin? I don't deserve you. No one does"
"No. I'm not sweet. I'm a monster who does nothing but hurt others. All I've ever done is bring people pain. Dad used to hurt noona because of me, noona is lying on that hospital bed because I was so eager for her to date hyung, Seo yeon noona is sad because I said so many hurtful things to her and she deserves none of it, I made you sad by shouting at you, Yoongi hyung is sad because of me, Taehyung does not say it but I know he is mad at me because of what I said to noona. I'm so horrible, I'm sorry"
"No, oppa" her voice is stern as she pulls my hands away from my teary face "you're not horrible. In fact, you are an angel. You created three beautiful relations, you took care of me, you acted so strong for everyone's sake when all you wanted to do was lock yourself in the washroom and cry your heart out, you became a stone for support for so many people. Yeah, you shouted at me and made me feel small and for that I'm gonna call you a roasted potato for a month. You know, as a punishment" she shrugs, smiling at my laugh.
"I'm sorry though. I just lost control for a minute there and I'm such an asshole"
"You are" she nods at me.
"Yeah great way to make me feel worse" she giggles before a thought crosses through my mind.
"Hey, where did you run off to? Please don't tell me you went to your home. Uncle is going to kill me if he gets to know I made you cry" she shakes her head and smiles.
"That is exactly why I didn't go home, I still wanted you alive. I went to a park, strolling around, just clearing my head"
"I'm sorry again for making you feel worthless and pathetic. I really didn't mean it"
"Okay now stop apologizing. I'm sleepy"
"Yeah, of course....wait WHAT?!??"
"Huh? Now what?"
"What were you doing in a park at this hour? You know, it's dangerous out there. What if something happened to you?"
"Hey hey chill. I was with Yoongi oppa. He also had some things to clear from his mind so I helped him and he helped me" she shrugs again, eyes closed.
"Hey, you awake?" I ask after a few minutes of lying completely still on the floor.
"Yeah. The floor is not at all comfortable for sleep"
"Y-you said three relationships....which?"
"Erica unnie and Yoongi oppa, me and you"
"Me and you?"
"Yeah...I mean if you didn't ask me out that day, I'd probably be sleeping at home right now.....single as an amoeba"
I laugh at that and ask "which is the third pair?"
"Seo yeon unnie and Hoseok oppa"
"WHAT?!"
"Hey! Can you stop shouting? I'm sleepy and my head hurts"
"Oh sorry, but what?!"
"Yeah and I was not supposed to tell you this but I think you should know. Don't tell her I told you about it" she tries to warn but her voice is slurred. I see that she has almost fallen asleep so I get up and pick her up in my arms, one on her back, palm supporting her head and the other at the back of her knees.
I lay her down in my bed, kiss the top of her head. I get back into the bed beside her, creating a wall of pillows between us, just in case she feels uncomfortable, even though we have probably cuddled a million times now. I drift off to sleep staring at her beautiful face, illuminated by the thin streak of light passing through the gap in the curtain.
"Sometimes talking helps more than quitting" – Anonymous.
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A/N : Here's a new update! I know I've been slacking off but I was busy!
