"Hey hyung, we're not mad at you. If anything we're happy that you are trying to get back up. We know it's hard for you and we're there for you if you ever need us" Hoseok breaks the nerve wrecking silence.
"Yes hyung. We supported you once, who's saying we won't do it for the other times. You were not an inconvenience. None of us thought you were an inconvenience. We will support and help you. That's what friends are for, right? We'll be there for the both of you" Namjoon continues from where Hoseok left off.
"Hyung, I don't blame you. No one does. It's not your fault. It's just how things turned out to be" Jimin tries to explain his point but I still think it could have been better than this if I would have been of some help, if I would have tried harder that night.
"I'm searching for a new job, one that is better than this one. I know this is a lot to ask but can someone help me move on?"
"Hyung, what are you talking about? We will definitely help you. Let's go on a job hunt first thing tomorrow morning" Taehyung beams a warm smile.
I smile back gratefully, nod and focus back on eating the small portion of the food on my plate, thinking about the opportunities I can find.
"Hyung, I think you should be a songwriter for idol groups or some entertainment company" Hoseok speaks up from beside me, his chat with Seo yeon long completed.
"Hmmm" that's all I can get out of my throat. A lump forming as I try to keep control, my thoughts going back to the day when me and Erica were discussing our interests and future.
'I can totally see you being a rapper and throwing out syllables, breaking records. You're good with your words. You would totally rock the stage if you tried' Maybe I should try it out. She would have liked that.
"Yeah I'll audition for that"
"Huh?!" Hoseok sounded confused.
"I said I'll audition for that"
"No hyung, you don't need an audition for the job of a coder. You just need to go through a small course of IT and that's it"
"No no. I was talking about the song writing thing"
"Oh! You want to go for that. Sure you'll do great" he says with a smile, trying to reassure me. I nod, focusing back on my food.
The next day is spent in procrastination and getting my nerves under control. I stay lying on the new comfortable bed, not wanting to move. Jimin gave me his house to stay in and take care of it. He didn't want to be staying in it, said it reminded him of everything bad that ever happened there. I sometimes envy him too. He was so quick to accept whatever happened. He moved on, got himself an apartment, got back to studying properly. I know he's still worried for her, he still wants her to wake up. He has just accepted that she will when it is time. I don't understand why I'm stuck, why I haven't been able to accept the small change.
Then a voice rings in my head – it's because you did this to her. I don't remember how I fell asleep but I woke up in the middle of the night. The image of her blood on my hands still clear, my sweaty shirt sticking to my body. I get myself a glass of water, knowing I can't go back to sleep again, I settle near the window sill, gazing out at the crescent moon.
"Why did you take her from me? We were so happy. I had to help her find her happiness, her home and I was so close to that. So close to making her happy. You took it all from me. You always take everything away from me. You never like to see me happy, do you? Mom, if you're up there, please help me get her back. She doesn't deserve it. I should have been the one getting hurt instead of her. I love her, I really do. I don't want to live without her. She was everything I could ever ask for, everything I had after you left" I did not mind the tear drops rolling down my cheeks and trailing down to my arms on the window sill which supports my face. The moon blurs and I try to smile at the thought that passes through my head.
'Don't give up, son. She will come to you. Keep fighting for just a bit longer' imagining my mom saying that the tears only flow faster.
"I don't want to. I'm too tired for this. I don't want to try anymore. I just want her back. Is a month not enough? Do you still have to punish me? I don't want to live my life like this anymore. I feel like it would be better to just come up there to you. At least I will have someone who cares about me" I cry out loud, not caring about anything.
'You still have your friends. They need you' the thought manages to make me even guiltier. The thought that I was trying to give up without caring about them, about their efforts. I would be taking away their smiles. But I don't want to be the one faking a smile, getting people's sympathy. Why does it always have to be me?
I spend the rest of the night sitting at the window sill, trying to prepare for the interview the next morning. I get up from my position, my legs cramped but I manage to get ready on time. I visit the hospital before going for the interview.
"Wish me luck" I had said, waiting for a reply I knew would never come.
Going towards the receptionist, I feel the nerves resurfacing. Questions of 'what if' springing up in my head. I take a deep breath in the elevator as I press the button to take me to the fifth floor of the office.
"Please have a seat Mr. Min" one of the interviewers says, his suit pressed and the buttons open, the light blue shirt he's wearing visible from the gap, a pen lazily being flicked in his right hand as the left is tapping against the table. Two of his associates are sitting on either side of him, their attire as formal as mine. I take my seat on the other side of the table and the interview begins, going pretty well in the beginning and I feel that I might get the job. But nothing ever goes right when I'm involved.
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try one more time" – Thomas Edison.
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A/N : Hello....! Hope you like the chapter!
What do you think would be the problem with Yoongi's job interview?
Anyway, hope you all are doing well!
Thank you for reading and supporting the book! Don't forget to vote or comment if you like the chapter. They mean a lot to me!
