My Love

Ruby Red Ring

I looked down and the ruby red ring and smiled. It was Payton's favorite ring, it had a gold band and a flower that was all ruby. I had an identical one that was diamonds, I gave mine to Payton and she gave me her's (yeah dumb I know) it was adorable.

She had to go and talk to her doctor which meant I had to leave and wait in the waiting room. I sat next to Anna and we had a small conversation about wether or not I should dye my hair a red or pink. She finally got off topic and asked me a very personal question, "I have been wondering this since she asked you out, what happens if she dies." I has been looking down at the white floor at the time of the question, I looked up at her then back down. "You know you can't take that loss again, you lost your mom and brother, now Payton. If I was you right at the time my mom left I would have let go." I looked at her and I couldn't take this from her I had to think positive, "look Anna my mom and brother left yes, I could have let go but I didn't. I didn't let go for her, Payton needed me at the same time my mom left. I don't know what I am going to do if she dies." I felt tears fill my eyes and I hadn't gotten a good shower in 2 days, I don't think I had left since the day she got there which was about 2 days ago.

I hadn't even gotten a good sleep in the last several days, since Payton had been at my home I couldn't work or think straight. I always worried about her, I thought why would she come with us why hadn't her parents come for her yet. I mean her parents liked her they loved her sister and cousins more than Payton. My mind had trailed off again obviously, I had been sitting in the waiting room for what felt like forever but in reality was only 25 minutes.

The doctor finally came and told me what he figured out, "okay ms.matthews I ne-," I hated being called Ms.Matthews , "Please just call me Addison." He nodded a yes.

"Okay Addison we need to discuss Payton, she is in a very bad place right now. I don't know if she's going to make it or not, but we are doing everything in our power to make sure she doesn't die." He looked like he was about to cry. When I would have conversations with him, he would talk about how good Payton was and how she didn't deserve this and everything. I looked at him and whispered and it's going to be okay. He cleared his throat and continued talking about Payton, "I don't know what's going to have there might be a lung failure because she obviously smokes. She shouldn't smoke at this age and nor should you." He looked down at my purse which had a pack of smokes and a lighter. I knew it wasn't good for my lungs but it was the only thing that calmed me down.

Some time after the doctor told me about the cigarettes I went outside to smoke. I'm a horrible person I shouldn't do this after I was told not to.

*****
I had gotten a call half way though my thinking session, "yeah hey you okay." I heard sobbing and knew it was Anna, "they are taking Payton and she's freaking out she's screaming for you. Addie you need to get over here as soon as possible!" I was about to respond then she hung up, I put out the killer stick and ran into the building and I got stopped at the elevator due to having to wait. I waited for 20 seconds for the elevator until I rad to the stairs. I was at Payton's room in exactly 2 minutes.

"Paton! What's wrong, what's happening." She looked at me and then at the doctors, "they said I'm dying and the next test will determine how much time I have left and what I have." I looked at the doctor and then looked down, the doctor cleared his throat, "Payton you have a type of lung cancer and the test will determine if it's cureable or not." Payton looked down, "is there anything else wrong with me?" I knew there was no more bad news so I didn't worry. Dr.Alex began to tell Payton a bunch of things about just doctory crap then he got quite,"....Payton you might have a liver fail due to all the pills you have taken and just everything. That's not the worst part, you might only have several days at the most to live. We need to get you checked out as soon as possible." Payton nodded and they took her out which left me and Anna in the room crying. I called the only person I had to talk to, "Logan, it's Payton she's getting wores and I don't know what to do." I had remembered the conversation Logan had with Sarah when I was in the hospital, "Logan I'm scared she's not going to be okay." I heard him sigh, "Addie she's not going to be the same after this if she makes it she's going to be different and distant. She's going to be quiet and just not going to be herself." I sighed and thought before I responded, "they are going to have her for about an hour and a half do you want to get some starbucks? Maybe we can go to the mall and I can get a new jacket." Logan said yeah and I told Anna if anything happened to give me a call and I'd be there at the soonest time.