My Love

Christmas Sucks

The next morning I woke up before Payton and wrapped my arms around her and quickly stopped myself and got up. "Fuck no you can't do this.....you can't have feelings for Payton....she's a girl and you're a girl.....that has a boyfriend." I whisper to myself as I paced the cold wood floor of my room. "Stop your feelings stop. You are in love with Logan you do not like Payton one bit."

I walked over to the bed where the kittens had been sleeping when I went to sleep. The kittens has little name tags, I guess Jack and Logan named them. One was Terra and the other was Destroya. My future daughter's name would be Terra I had been obsessed with that name since I was little and Destroya was my favorite My Chemical Romance song. I'm glad they at least picked names that I would like. Thank Ray Toro's guitar.

My phone began to buzz and I guess it was a call, "hey?" I spoke into the cold phone.

"Oh gosh you really are awake Addison I thought it had been a dream that I was having for the last night. I had to call you and make sure you were okay, and make sure that I wasn't going insane. Also that it wasn't just a dream that it was actually real." Logan seemed excited to hear my voice and know that he wasn't just dreaming, "so Addison how about a date later you and me a fancy restaurant? You cant wear whatever you want and I'll wear whatever I want. Christmas is soon you know."

"Yeah I know, I'm going shopping with Payton in a bit but how about 7:30 tonight? Are you going to pick me up or am I going to meet you there?"

"I'm picking you up. I promise that we will both get there safely nobody will be hurt." Logan had been kinda scared of driving since the accident. It wasn't his fault though, the medication that they had given him was to much and it was making him tired so I blame his doctor.

"Okay Prince Charming, I'll be waiting for you." I hung up the phone once I finished my sentence because I knew he would get mad about me calling him 'prince charming.'

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After a while Payon woke up and we went to the mall and I walked around in my oversizes sweater and my toms, "Payton? What should I wear tonight for mine and Logan's date tonight?" She grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me into a store that sold fancy dresses and shit, "what is this shit? Where did you drag me into man? I thought you loved me Pay." She chuckled and walked towards the back of the store where the had the black dresses and the less expencive shit and I picked up a nice somewhat fancy dress and tried it one. I was in love with the dress and if I could I would have totally asked it out.

I walked up to front registered and the dress ended up being 65 dollars and Payton paid for it. I began crying when she gave the lady the money, thank Ray Toro's Guitar for this. I walked out of the store with the bag in hand and my Payton by my side.

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At exactly 7:30 pm Logan came to pick me up and he was wearing and nice little monkey suit and it made me laugh. I had my black dress and my black toms on and my favorite sweater (which was also black...shocker) on. "Logan I love you so much," I giggled as I said the words. He walked towards me and pushed a hair behind my ear and leaned in and kisses me, "I love you, too princess Addison."

On the car ride over there was filled with My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the disco and Pierce The Veil. He looked so calm and I was like screaming each word to the song that he had picked.

After awhile King For A Day came on and I was screaming it and so was Logan. The song cut out and he began laughing a little and called me a loser. Me a loser? How about you? You were screaming it to genius.

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We arrived at the restaurant and it was fancy, like not McDonald's fast food place but and actual restaurant. People were wearing gowns and suits and Logan I might have looked a bit underdressed but oh well.

We were shown out table and to be honest I wasn't sure what I had eaten or asked for. My phone began buzzing and it was Anna. "Logan I need to take this hold on." I got up and walked out of the room.

"Addison! It's Payton she was well she cut herself and there isn't just one there are a lot the look kinda old. Not super of like a few days old, come home asap. Dad wants to take her to the hospital and they are leaving in 5 minutes." I wasn't sure how to get there. "Logan I need to go here is $60 this should cover my half. Stay and enjoy the food" I rushed out and Logan rushed out after me and told me to get in the car that he would take me home. Logan rushed me home and didn't ask any questions.

I got put of the car and rushed to my father who was holding Payton his arms. I got into the back seat of the suburban and Payton laid across my legs. Anna took her and Luke in a car so they wouldn't take up any space and Payton could just lay down. I whispered so only Payton could hear, "hey sunshine, I know this is a dumb question but are you okay?" She shook her head, "I knew I shouldn't have left you alone." I kissed her forehead and she began to cry, "no Payton please don't cry I love you please I love you." Payton grabbed my hand and whispered, "it hurts so much I just want it all to go away. So I did this, I wasn't thinking anyone would walk in until later." I looked at her cuts and grabbed her wrists and kissed them, "you wrists are beautiful and I love them."

We arrived at the hospital and my dad carried her in and the nurses got her into a room quickly. I couldn't see her and I crying because she was all I had. No she was all I wanted and all I needed. I loved Payton. Tomorrow was Christmas and I my only wish was to see her.

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The nurses finally got the okay from her sister saying that we could see Payton. I walked in alone first and told her everything that I had realized that I had feelings for her and Logan and she just smiled and grabbed my hand and kissed it. "I love you Addison, but you love Logan and I will not ruin that for you." I crawled into the big hospital bed with her and she wrapped her arms around me and I cried into her chest and she hugged me. "I won't ever let go Addison, I promise. I'll never leave, I promise."