Enjoying Your Company //

chapter thirty

Vanessa's POV:

We were all back on the jet headed home at two am. I don't know how Spencer did this every week... Everyone was asleep, including Spence, who was out, his head in my lap. My mind was restless as I look over the case awaiting us.

Aaron got up from the other end of the jet.

"Vanessa." I peer up at him. "Cant sleep?"

"Adrenaline's still pumping I guess, I figured I'd get started on the next case." I look down at Spencer, playing with his hair as he took the seat in front of me. 

"You did something reckless today." I timidly met his gaze. "You've got someone who understands the limitations of this job, all of them. And when you have someone like that, you don't take advantage of it, or take it for granted. Stepping in front of a gun to take an unthoughtout risk. Putting yourself in harms way when you have someone on the line, is irresponsible and dangerous." He looked to Spencer. "Reid understands the tolls this job takes on people. He's seen it destroy, create, and dismember. The last thing he needs is another loss." I look down at him, brushing his hair sideways. Feeling the weighted aftermath of my actions. Aaron's every word flooded my clattering mind. "You are a part of this team now, and that means doing what's best for the group. When you put yourself in danger, you put us all in danger."

"Yes sir." He gave me a look, profiling me.

"You care about him."

"I do." I whisper, unmoved.

"And you love him." That wasn't a question.

"I do."

"Good." He earned my eyes. "He deserves someone who's going to be there, indefinitely." Spencer shifted in his sleep, releasing a breath. I couldn't look away, his dovelike face tranquil in his slumber.

"He's pretty amazing, isn't he?" I let slip, my fingers tracing through his hair.

"Yes, he is." There was a moment. "And so are you. I'd hate to see something as controllable as following orders be anyones downfall." Aaron rose from the seat, making his way into the kitchen. I set down my file, unwilling to look away from the love of my life peacefully snoozing in my lap.

This job comes with a lot of give and take. A lot of loss, a lot of gain. And sometimes you win. But sometimes, you lose. In order to save lives you have to have a hive mind. I know that now. Spencer squeezed his eyes softly, shifting again in my lap. I eased him back to sleep, lovingly running my hand through his hair until I drifted into asleep.