I hear the two clicks of the dial tone before it goes silent. Three words. She told me three words and my heart has been shattered all over again. I felt tears sting my eyes in a moment of weakness and I brush it off. I needed to be strong. I need to be the person that protected Portia as I know that job's not done, not yet. I listen to the music, its upbeat tune offends me, it almost mocks me with its melodies. I reach for the remote and lower the volume before switching it to a new song, somewhat more mellow, it beats in the same pace my heart does and I feel myself relax. I need this. Hearing footsteps come from the stairs I knew it was her. I was leaning back on the couch, my eyes closed as I focused my mind and my heart not to give in to the sadness and weakness that I'm so tempted to dive into. I feel weight shift into the other side of the couch and I open my eyes. She's looking at me, her eyes still sad, though she was as relaxed as I was. I beckon her over and she sits closer to me. I put my arm over her shoulder and she takes this as an invitation, snuggling into my shoulder, resting her head on the crook of my neck, my chin just over the edge of her hairline. We both sigh as at the same time. I would hate to offer her dinner at this time, having her this close to me gave me an overwhelming feeling of possessiveness, in a way that I'd want to protect her just like I did not a full hour ago. I debate on asking her if she'd like to eat but as her stomach grumbled the same way mine did this morning I knew I had my answer.
"sorry" she whispers, "we should probably eat so I can go home, I'm sorry I ruined your evening" she says moving away from me to take her plate that's been waiting for her.
"you didn't ruin anything.. I'd gladly do it again if you needed me to" she looks at me, "and you don't have to go... we can stay here, hang out, just-" I take my glass "know each other" she searches my eyes, makes me think that she's trying to find some sort of hint of whether I was lying or not. She nods as she finds none. She looks down, her eyes change before she sets down her plate again and heads for the kitchen. I almost followed her but I didn't have the chance as she was back by my side not a minute later.
"here" she has taken an ice pack and filled it, placing it over my bruised hand, the cold stung as I didn't know how heated my skin got. "sorry" I shook my head, she holds it there for a while before asking me to hold it on my own. "where's your medicine cabinet?"
"that's... I don't have one, it clashes with the couch" she laughs, and my heart swoons. Finally, I finally got her to laugh again. Smiling she waits for my real answer "cabinet in the first bathroom down that hall" she stands up and walks away. I watch her leave and she leans over to pet wolf as he paws at her legs, she then fixes a photo frame that was slanted before turning the corner. It all suddenly felt familiar, it may sound utterly ridiculous as this is the first time she's ever been in my house, but what just happened.. felt like something that was just.. supposed to. Like she was meant to be here. Looking around my house I felt a sense of calm overcome me, the quiet was peaceful, not annoying. Her presence, even though she just left the room, is still very much felt; like I wasn't too alone. I wait a couple more moments before she comes back holding a roll of bandages.
"leave that on for 20 minutes or at least once the cold is gone" she tells me, patting my hand that was still holding the ice pack. Putting down the roll on the table she reaches for my plate. I was about to protest that the plate wasn't hers when she started cutting the food, moving the fork to my mouth. She leans her head to the side like a curious puppy and I lean a little back
"I- what?" she chuckles lightly
"open" meaning my mouth, I still stare at her confused "your hand is swelling cause of me, let me help you eat at least, now open" and with that I complied. Opening my mouth she places the food inside as I take a bite
"you should eat too," I say once I've swallowed "I know you're hungry" she nods
"I will, after you" she says taking another bite from the plate to feed me with, I move away and shook my head
"take turns"
"it's just more work switching plates" she laughs "let me take care of you please? it's the least I could do after you saved me" she looks at me with pleading eyes and I find myself not being able to resist them. I nod and this somewhat makes her happy, moving closer so she can continue feeding me dinner. I watch her intently, she's so gentle, so delicate. Her hand moves so gracefully I'd wonder if they ever worked a day in her life, though I'm sure she has. At one point she takes a tissue and moves to wipe the side of my mouth, her eyes were so focused, as though one wrong move and she'd hurt me. I start to think about how this woman's heart was dared broken by someone.
"how the hell did she manage to leave you" I whisper, I wasn't planning on it, my thoughts simply escaped and she stops, giving me a sad smile her eyes searched mine before feeding me my last bite.
"I could ask you the same darling" she whispers back, maybe afraid that she'd disturb the peace that circled between us.
--
I had popped in a DVD of Notting Hill with my good hand as she ate her dinner, this became more of background noise as the volume was low and we continued our conversation. We had casually talked about being on the show, how I loved doing it and how happy I was that she will be one of my first guests on. She asked me if it was fun and I told her stories about how amazing my writers were and how they made work not feel like word. I noticed that she'd been smiling at me too much, though I don't really mind it. I'm not one to complain when someone as beautiful as her smiles at me, I'm lucky enough that she noticed me. Taking my hand, I only now notice how beat up it was, the three knuckles on the back were purple and it hurt to even close it.
"let me" she takes away the ice pack and started wrapping it with the bandage tightly, to somehow alleviate the pain. Looking at my hand I realize that I'll have to take a cab to work tomorrow. I click my tongue and she notices my annoyance at the inconvenience. "yes?"
"nothing, I just- I'll have to wake up earlier tomorrow to get a cab to the office" she thinks for a moment, clipping the bandage shut she inspects her work before speaking.
"crazy idea," she starts, a little apprehensive of what she'll say next "what if... I drive you?" she hesitates. I understand her hesitation as it insinuates something I never thought would happen,
"you stay the night?" she nods and I think it over, it is getting a little bit late
"I mean, I don't have my car with me, you can't drive with that hand," she shrugs her shoulders "we kinda don't have a choice?" I chuckle and nod. I agree to the idea, having her here feels safer, she makes me feel safe and I know that I can protect her as well. Craig hasn't gotten any information on the man just yet and the last thing I want is for him to follow her, or god forbid show up at her house.
"do you have work tomorrow?" she shook her head
"nope, filming finished last week, they're on the end part of editing and that was actually the go signal for us to promote on your show" I nod
"why did you guys cancel the first guest, who was he?"
"Jason, Jason Bateman, yeah he was supposed to go on but he was called to fix a few scenes with Will so they had me go" she moves closer to me and places a hand on my knee as she leans onto my body like how she did before we ate "I'm honestly happy they did" I swallow hard, my body reacting to her actions. I felt a blush seep through and I'm just happy she can't see my face right now. Scanning the room once again to try and take in the situation, my eyes fall onto a framed photograph, taken about half a year ago, though feels like a hundred lifetimes has passed since then. The three words she told me earlier tonight suddenly rings in my ears. I don't even know what she meant but I probably gave another reason for her not to come back. "are you okay?" Portia says sitting up. I don't remember how the tears made its way to my cheeks but it was there, and she saw it.
"Fine, fine. What do you want to do?" I ask quickly, wiping away the tears like they were nothing. Her eyes don't leave my face, she was waiting for me to continue, tell her what's on my mind and possibly help me through it. I shook my head, this isn't the time for it. I'd rather keep it in than burden her with problems that she can't very well do anything about. She gives me an understanding smile
Once again, my phone rings, though it's a number that I've been expecting
"Craig, what's up?" Portia moves away, trying to give me a little privacy
"El," he breathes through and my heart drops "it wasn't an isolated incident"
