A Heart's Dedication

Chapter One

"Offer up your heart!"

Ever since Y/N had joined the Survey Corps, this was the mantra she had been led by. It was the first thing she had heard in training and the first order given to her before every battle. It was the voice of the dead, the voice of the living who still had hope, and the voice of all humanity who still believed. No matter where she went, the phrase was there, as sure as her shadow. Even now, from somewhere far away from her perch, she could hear the echo of the distant phrase, fading away.

On this bright summer day, Y/N stood on a balcony overlooking the sea. While her opinion of the vast blue pool was not very enthusiastic, the sound of rolling waves was something that could not be duplicated. She had been here, enjoying this sound for the last four months, and while no one could tell by her apathetic persona, she didn't plan on abandoning that sound anytime soon.

The new harbor was being built below her, a sign of peace between Paradise Island and the rest of the world. While humanity had only ventured beyond the walls somewhat recently, one could never tell. Scouts and villagers alike bustled down and around in the nearly completed port, children laughing and merchants advertising their goods. The scene was so natural, so serene, it almost made Y/N smile. But as quickly as it had come, that happiness had gone, a certain memory snuffing it out.

Suddenly, her moment of peace was interrupted by a hug from her backside. Zoe Hange, a close friend and Commander of the Corps was currently squeezing the life out of Y/N, clearly not regretting it at all from the ear-to-ear smile on her face. She laughed as Y/N looked at her, mildly surprised.

"Ha-ha, Y/N, did I scare you? I bet that I did!"

The recipient of the hug looked at her friend with an expression of endearment, giving a half-hearted giggle in response. Y/N had known Hange for years, and over time, she had become Y/N's go-to for mischief and quirky antics during her training days.

"Hange... how are you?" Y/N asked as the brunette let go of her waist and leaned over the balcony next to her.

"Ah, you know. Tired as usual, nothing new there. The old-timers are excited to go home tomorrow alright, all of them miss their families. I'm not too sure about these new recruits yet, but I'm sure that they'll get into the swing of things before long. Plus, tonight there's a party to celebrate the departure, and everyone loves parties! Eh, Y/N....?"

Y/N was silent, and Hange raised her eyebrow.

"You knew about the party tonight, right?"

"Yes." Y/N replied, almost immediately, voice monotone.

"Okay, great! For a minute there I thought I forgot to tell you!" She laughed nervously, "I hope we don't end up wearing the same dress, that will be hella embarrassi-"

"You don't have to worry about it, I'm not going." Y/N said, fiddling with one of the jacket flaps on her uniform. Hange stared at her, completely in awe.

"Y/N, you have to be there! I don't wanna go by myself and have no one to talk to other than old geezers and inexperienced little shits who think they know what they're talking about!"

"I'm sorry, Hange, but I can't. I'm not a party person, you know that. I even volunteered to work extra patrols tonight."

Y/N looked at her friend, who seemed completely crestfallen. Y/N couldn't leave that as the final word.

"Besides, you won't be alone... you'll have him."

Hange looked at Y/N with complete and utter shock. Both of them knew who "he" was referring to, but neither had the guts to speak his name. Immediately sensing the awkwardness, Hange complained,

"But, Y/N, it just wouldn't be the same without you... please?" She made sure to emphasize the -e.

"No."

"But-"

"Hange..."

She looked down, at a loss for ideas. Then, she raised her head with a devilish smirk.

"We can spike the punch..."

Y/N gaped at her friend. She had exposed one of Y/N's guilty pleasures; pranking others. While some might refer to the hobby as foolish, the two of them saw it as a little helpless fun. No one in the Scouts could do it that often, due to the unspoken professional boundaries. However, Y/N figured that with Hange's social status and extraordinary pranking skills, she had already constructed a fool-proof plan.

The battle raged in Y/N's head. She couldn't go, of course not. She couldn't allow herself to feel happy. She couldn't allow herself to move on just like that.

She couldn't just forget.

And yet...

Y/N longed for a change of pace, a change of scenery, and a feeling to feel other than the sadness that was constantly swirling in her mind. She wanted this, to turn away for a night and forget. But could she allow herself?

Y/N looked at Hange, whose face had turned from a smirk to big-ol' amber puppy dog eyes. Y/N gave her a defiant look, but couldn't resist her begging, and relented.

"...Alright, fine. But only for a little while."

Hange had sparkles in her eyes.

"Yes!" She jumped into the air, fist raised, "This is going to be the best night of your life, Y/N, I guarantee it! Now, just out of curiosity, what kind of dress are you planning to wear?"

"None."

"I'm sorry?" Hange retorted, eyes wide.

"I don't have one. Never needed it."

"...Dear God, Y/N, you're helpless. That's why I love 'ya. But shit... we need to get to work! We have to get you a dress! Where are we even going to find one this late? Oh, I'm sure McAllens has one somewhere, but..."

As the mumbling woman took her friend by the arm and drug her down the stairs of the watchtower, Y/N couldn't help but feel conflicted. She knew that she was probably going to regret her actions after tonight, whether it be from the pranking or the guilt. She just knew it. But at the same time, Y/N felt a feeling in her gut that was unfamiliar to her. What was it? Nausea? A tapeworm?

However, right now, it didn't matter. No matter how much she was going to regret it, Y/N was showing up for her friend, supporting her. That made the H/C happy, knowing that she was helping someone else. And somewhere deep inside, she was grateful for the opportunity. As her face curved into the tiniest of smiles, she thought eagerly of the night ahead, unsure of what would await her. 

A/n: I love Hange so much, it's not even funny. You can tell. And as a manga reader, this fact pains me. Send help.