My Broken Face

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*Laura's POV*

I wake up in a hospital bed, my body aches so badly.
Someone tried to hurt me, tried to rape me, how can I ever recover from this.
I look over slowly to my right and see John sitting on a chair half asleep. His eyes look red and puffy.
"John, John wake up."
"Laura, you're awake, how are you feeling? Why did you leave the pub like that?... Are you OK...? "
"John, what happened that man that attacked me? Was I attacked for being around your family?.." I look at him while he hesitates.
Just then, the curtain around my bed opens and it's Tommy. My breath catches, I want to reach out and cry on his shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, showng a tough exterior.

"John, give me a minute with Laura please" he says with a sigh.

"Like fuck I'm leaving her here with you Tommy, you're the reason she is in this mess. Look at her, look at her fucking face."
John has jumped up and got in Tommy's face.
Head to head they look at each other.

"Fucking leave now John boy" Tommy says and looks at me pleading.

"It's OK John, I'll see you in a few minutes." I weakly smile at him.

As John leaves, Tommy takes his cap off and throws it on the chair beside my bed. He puts his hands up, runs them through his hair a few times and paces up and down the small space.

"I'm sorry,... I'm sorry I was a dickhead in the pub. We got the son of a bitch Laura, he's being dealt with"

My eyes brim up with tears, I take a deep breath and say "Why?, Why would you say that about me? Even if I was frigid, even if you hate me.."
I take a deep breath and "Well you may fucking hate me Tommy but John doesn't, I can't make him care about me anymore, I can't deal with this family any more.. I can't deal with caring about.... Never mind. I want out Tommy."
My heart is aching, I hate this man in front of me, I think Im in love with him too, there's no future for him and me, I'm moving on from the Shelby men.
" I don't hate you..." he says in his raspy voice, turning his back to me.
The awkward silence is left hanging in the air and I can't look at him anymore.

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John walks back in with Arthur, Polly and Ada in tow, Tommy picks up his hat and watches our interaction take place.
The girls hug and kiss me and tell me they are glad I'm OK.
"Ada, I need to see my face, get me a mirror"
She hands me the compact from her bag,
My face is black and blue with bite marks on my lips and down my neck, I open my nightgowns top button and see my breasts have teeth marks and bruises on them too. The men look away, horrified, the women let out low sobs.
"You'll come back from this kid" says Arthur.
My hands start to shake and I drop the compact on the floor, how could I ever have gotten mixed up with this group of people whose lives revolve around violence and dangerous people. In that moment I make the decision.
I'm done with them all, regardless of what I feel for John and....Tommy, I don't want anything to do with these people anymore.
Except Ada, she was my best friend and my roommate, I needed her friendship and support. We can hate her brothers together.

I look into everyone's faces,
"Get out and leave me alone, look at the state of me, you all let me leave the pub that night alone, nothing is more important than the precious Peaky fucking Blinders. I shouldn't have got involved with any of you, Ada was right, fucking Shelby men."
"John, stay back for a minute"
He looks at me expectantly...
"It's over John. Whatever this was. Its over."

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