Sanders Sides oneshot book (pt2)(Requests CLOSED)

analogicality angst

Slight vent chapter

Little space
Feeling unloved and ignored
Sad little
Bad thoughts

Patton laid in bed shivering after his long day. He missed his daddies, he wanted to cuddle them. He felt fine and when he got a text from Logan he felt himself slip into regression. He didnt mind it, suddenly having such a bubbly feeling in his stomach and heart, so happy talking to his daddy after a long day. He told Logan he had gone little, and tried to tell his daddies he was cold and needed them

But as usual, he need for affection went by feeling ignored. He tried to push it down, forcing himself not to think any bad thoughts. He changed into his onesie, curling up with the teddy bear Logan had gotten him.

Virgilwasnt answering and Patton hoped he had fallen asleep. But he couldnt help fear his clingyness and need for affection had pushed Virgil away.

He tried to tell Logan but couldnt do it without feeling worse. He didnt want to feel like he was manipulating Logan into coming over late at night. But he felt so sad, he wanted his daddy so bad. He needed to hold him. He wanted to cling to him and cry, tell his daddy how he felt. But he couldnt, he just couldn't.

He hated feeling like this, turning on his playlist of songs and listening to them while laying in bed trying to push away the negative feelings, wanting to cry. He started doubting his boyfriends love, what if they found him annoying and didnt want to cuddle him because he was to needy and desperate for the affection?

What if they hated being around him, hated talking to him?

Those thoughts swarmed Patton, biting and poking until he couldnt take it. He sat crying, wanting so badly to feel Logan and Virgil holding him. Feel them kiss him and tell him it was ok. That he was safe and loved. He wanted it, he needed it so badly. But he couldnt have it and it was tearing him apart. He wanted to scream out his anger, cry and scream and...

Patton shook his head, hugging his teddy tighter and crying harder. He couldnt think like that...

Logan texted him and he wiped his tears, not answering because he just didnt have the energy. He couldnt take anymore. He couldnt do this anymore. It was killing him not being with them. He wanted to be by their sides and hold them forever.

But again...he couldnt. Not with Virgil being so far away and Logans parents not allowing them to be together. He couldnt take this anymore.

I hope you enjoyed amd have a great day/night