Silver Hawk Ridge: Taking Flight

{ Chapter 33 }

Trigger warning part 2: this chapter links into the last one with the topic of assault, so reader discretion is again advised.
   As much as I'd told my friends that I was fine, I really wasn't. Homecoming night shook me in the worst way. They say lightning never strikes the same place twice, and yet somehow it had. This nightmare had happened before. It took a long time for me to get over constantly looking over my shoulder, waking up sweating, and the feeling of security loss. They continued to urge me to report it, but every time I went to knock on Headmaster Marrow's door, I felt like I wanted to throw up and walked away. I couldn't go through being brushed off again.

As the weeks wore on following the incident, I just sort of went through the motions. The lectures passed by in a blur. Even the yearbook spread I was supposed to do didn't seem to matter. Brynn continually asked me if I was okay throughout, but I didn't know how to tell her that Daley and Ciarra, her best friends, had set me up for something that could have been way worse had my friends not intervened in time. I didn't even want to know what was going through their heads at that point in time that made them think that was a good idea.

I was taking a walk after the equestrian team picked apples for the Halloween festival tomorrow. The school would give us the entire day off to prepare since the teachers had professional development. My shoulders ached from the ramped up training for the next competition and picking apples (they'd put me on the ground because I'm so tall, which meant a lot of reaching over my head), so I was stretching them out, listening to the pops of my protesting joints. As I rounded the corner from the stables I saw Gavin sitting in the grass beside a tree, head in his hands. I walked towards him. Now I know what you're thinking, "what normal person would walk towards the person that assaulted them?" If you haven't figured it out already, normal is not in my vocabulary. However, I needed answers, and I was gonna get them.

"Gavin?" I said tentatively. He snapped his head up. His eyes were rimmed red and glistened from crying.

"Savannah, listen I'm so-" I held up my hand.

"Why? Why did you do it?" he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Honestly? I don't know. I'd had control over myself the whole evening, and then I just snapped when I saw you with him. I've been able to bury it down inside, and then I all of a sudden I couldn't contain the jealousy. That wasn't fair to Drew or either of us, what I did".

"You're right, it wasn't, and it was stupid" I said incredulously, folding my arms. He raised his brows at me a bit peeved, indicating I may have rubbed some salt in what was likely a very painful and deep seeded wound, but I was barely holding my tongue. "Kenny and all the other guys said you never used to be like this. What changed?" I just couldn't fathom what on Earth had caused him to change so drastically.

   He patted the space on the ground, indicating I should sit. I sat a few feet away and indicated I was ready to listen.

   "When I was in eighth grade, my parents got divorced. I was fine with it because my dad had been such an ass to my mom. I moved into a 2 bedroom apartment with my mom, while my dad provided healthy child support. They did the shared custody thing just fine until Sophomore year, when my dad started dating this woman named Reese. I had to stay with him a lot because my mom was sick with cancer at the time and often couldn't be near me because her immune system was so terrible or her radiation treatments meant I couldn't be exposed to her. Reese could put on a nice front, but she was a monster behind closed doors, away from my workaholic father's oblivious eyes. She-" his voice caught and cracked. "She abused me and violated me in the worst possible ways for over a year and a half. I didn't tell my mom because I didn't want to worry her. Eventually she found out when she saw bruising on my wrists. My dad broke up with her and really ripped dad a new one. She never trusted my dad to provide a safe home for me after that. He still pays my tuition and helps my mom out, but I seldom stay with him anymore. From then on something snapped and I became the pathetic asshole you see before you today". I brought my shaking hand to my mouth in shock. Poor Gavin. No one should go through what we had to. "It excuses nothing, but I figured I owed you an explanation. I'm so, so sorry Savannah. For everything I've put you through since day one".

   "You're safe now Gavin. You're surrounded by amazing classmates, faculty, and a mother who loves you so much. If you need help all you have to do is ask." I said, voice thick with tears. It was hard to admit your scars, so he had just done something huge.

   "Why didn't you report me? I deserve it for doing what I did, and probably a lot worse."

   "Honestly? Part of it was because I knew there was something going on behind it, but most of it was because , based on prior experience, I highly doubted anyone would actually do anything."

   "You have a story behind this too, don't you Savannah?" He said quietly. I nodded. I knew he was afraid of my answer. However, he had earned some explanation as well. Survivors are survivors, and we have to support each other.

   "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, you know"

   "I know, but it doesn't hurt to talk to someone else about it." I steeled myself to relive the horror that I'd worked so hard to bury deep inside. "I didn't have a whole lot of friends back home because they thought I was too different to associate with either side. One bully in particular from our less prestigious side, Kayleigh Walker,  saw fit to come after me every chance she could. One day in sixth grade I'd had enough and ripped her a new one (very publicly) in front of our peers in the lunchroom. I'd been praised later by a lot of people who had wanted to do the same thing, but little did I know there was trouble waiting. I walked home from school that day just like any other day, until Kayleigh, two of her closest friends, and her brother decided to jump me when I was taking my normal shortcut through the neighbors clearing. Had it been just Kayleigh herself I may have been okay, since I'd nearly hit the end of my growth spurt at 5'7", but with all four of them I barely had a chance. They didn't take any of my stuff, but they hurt me pretty bad, and her older brother...well let's just say the punishment he had in mind for me was pretty brutal. Unlike YOU he didn't actually attempt anything (no offense), but the words were enough. I finally got my bearings after they left me there to drag myself home, where my dad was waiting. My neighbor Sara had been waiting to take me to the stables, and when I didn't show, she called him. My mom came home not long after. My dad's a forensic investigator for the local police department so he took some evidence off of me before taking me to the local ER to get assessed. They'd broken my nose, put hairline fractures in my face, and bruised my ribs pretty good. We filed a report and tried to build a case out of it. Unfortunately they completely brushed it off as a 'misunderstanding' and we couldn't afford a lawyer AND to take it to court, so little 12 year old me vowed never to report anything like that again. I was constantly looking over my shoulder after that, going to therapists, and having bad dreams. I didn't really recover from it until I started high school. So when it happened again, I just couldn't bring myself to go through the legal and administrative mess again to go unnoticed." I had been able to avoid crying this time (unlike when I broke down to Drew and my friends), but the raw hurt came back in a rush and an icy hand gripped my heart with defeat.

   "Savannah, I am so, so sorry for everything I did. I'd understand if you literally never wanted to see my face again" he said gravely, wiping a hand down his face.

   "While it's going to be a long road to forgiveness, now that I know your story, I think I can make an effort to at least try and get along for the sake of our math partnership. And besides, we're survivors. We owe it to ourselves to be aware of our ties and help others. What do you say, acquaintances?" I stuck my hand out for a handshake. His hand (or should I saw bear paws) shook mine firmly as we agreed that we could find a way to start a little anew.

   "Now I think you should probably set aside some time to make it up to your friends and everyone else. I think you'll find a lot of them miss their old friend" I said as we pulled each other off the ground. And with that we parted ways. For the first time in weeks, maybe even years, I felt a weight come off of my shoulders. All thanks to the power of having strength in numbers.

A/N: for those of you who stuck with this chapter, thank you and I apologize if the other one pisses you off. Savannah and Gavin are representations of what happens to so many who feel powerless to speak out. If that is you, or even if it isn't, remember this: you are loved, and no one has the right to lay even a hand on you without your consent. You have power.

~~EquisGem